A Beautiful Moment

It is Saturday the 18th of April. It is Sunny and just warm enough. We are at Temple Square and the air smells sweet of flowers..especially the lilacs. We take pictures of our beautiful children sitting by the flowers. We enter the Joseph Smith Memorial Building with its grandeur and polished decor. I sit on a comfy chair to take it all in. Friend-Bart Allen plays the piano so beautifully, it already feels like heaven. My dear companion and husband begins to play his violin with the piano. The two instruments weave together such beautiful music and because it is all by ear, it goes in directions that are inspired by the musicians. I hear a familiar tune...it is "O My Father." I see my beautiful daughter in the middle of the foyer start to dance. She tells me she is doing ballet. She is beautiful. I hold my nursing infant in my arms and look at his peaceful, dreamy face. I look at my husband. He is so beautiful to me. I close my eyes and think of the lyrics to the music they are playing:

O My Father thou that dwellest in the high and glorious place,
When shall I regain thy presence and again behold thy face?
In thy holy habitation, did my spirit once reside?
In my first primeval childhood, was I nurtured by thy side?

For a wise and glorious purpose Thou hast placed me here on earth
and withheld the recollection of my former friends and birth;
Yet oft-times a secret something whispered,"You're a stranger here,"
and I felt that I had wandered from a more exalted sphere.

I had learned to call Thee Father, through thy Spirit from on high,
But until the key of knowledge was restored, I knew not why.
In the heavens are parents single? No, the thought makes reason stare!
Truth is reason; truth eternal tells me I've a mother there.

When I leave this frail existence, when I lay this mortal by,
Father, Mother, may I meet you in your royal courts on high?
Then at length, when I've completed all you sent me forth to do,
With your mutual approbation let me come and dwell with you.

I take it in; it is a BEAUTIFUL moment.

1 Month

Here are pictures from over the last month..honestly I have not taken that many. I was waiting till his baby acne went away..haha...it is still on his nose but I figured I would update my blog nevertheless. Well, it started out VERY easy..all he did was sleep. He slept all day and to my surprise, all night. Then my mother came out which made life even easier as she basically took care of Isabella for a week. Around 3 weeks, Leo started becoming more alert during the day which I guess was better than just sleeping. He follows our faces and our voice if we move to different parts of the room. He startles very easy which is kind of funny. He is a heavy wetter so I change diapers a lot..even more since I use cloth diapers. Gary has started calling him "cub" and Bella has taken to it as well.
As for how it is on me having 2 children: Now that Leo is awake more, I often find myself nursing on the couch and just helplessly watching as my house is taken over by a two-year old and the messes that come with that. I have at least 2 times per day when both of them are crying and it pretty much drives me insane. Leo, like Bella but not as much, likes to be held and cries if I put him down. Luckily this time I have an assortment of baby carriers that help me out. However, by the end of the day my back is very sore from holding him and nursing him...but I don't want to complain too much. He is still much easier than Isabella ever was.
Isabella has done so great in the role of "Big Sister." She loves to kiss Leo and hold him. She will get things for me like diapers and my phone if it is ringing and I am in the other room. She has become such a big girl overnight. She feels like she weighs a ton now after holding a newborn(how did I carry her 9 months pregnant?!) She can get herself in her car seat all by herself, she can get water and food for herself if she needs to, and she has gotten more into imagination play which I love.
Sometimes I just do not know how mothers do it with more than 1 child though. The few times I have gone to the store with both of them have not been my favorite thing in the world. I will put Leo in the wrap and Bella in the cart but just lifting her into the cart while holding Leo on my front is no easy task. Then if she is not in the cart, I find it difficult to hold onto her and the grocery cart and keep my sanity. Once I was holding Leo and something else and she went into the parking lot all by herself and I could not catch her to grab her hand...I was both scared and mad. How do moms with MORE than 2 do it?
So..just as I was writing the last paragraph, Leo started crying upstairs. I went up there, got in bed with him and nursed him laying down. I love the mornings because of these sweet moments I get with my new baby just cuddling and nursing. Well, occasionally Isabella will get into something or I will just sense that the house is too quiet. The problem is that often I will just stay upstairs either in denial or imagining what will await me when I leave my haven of peace and go downstairs. Well today was no exception. As I was upstairs, I called down to her to ask what she was doing and I faintly heard something about the counter and powder. Well I did not actually go down then(denial) and when I finally did, I found her on the counter smearing baking soda all over it(at least it is a cleaner). I snapped a picture and this is where I will end my blogging for today and get back to motherhood.