Slightly Crunchy Mama

CDC Report: Home birth on the rise

2012-01-27T13:18:00.000-08:00

The CDC's National Center for Health Statistics just released a report on home birth (PDF) . Filled with graphics and easily understood language, this report is visually appealing and accessible to the lay public. This report, titled "Home Births in the United States, 1990-2009," has spurred a NPR Report and CNN news article.

2 Natural Hospital Birth Videos

2012-01-25T13:41:00.000-08:00

Both moms birth in a hands and knees position. I wish more women felt free to push in different positions. The laying on your back position that is so common in hospitals has a lot of drawbacks. Watch these beautiful births here.

A reality show featuring 2 home births.

2012-01-24T12:31:00.000-08:00

I love seeing the prenatals and the births sure do bring back memories!

You sniffed WHAT up your nose??

2012-01-05T10:13:00.000-08:00

Yes, Cayenne pepper. I had heard from a friend back in Utah that you could sniff a tiny bit of cayenne powder and it would cure a headache. I never tried it there because I typically only get migraines when I am not pregnant and I heard this while I was pregnant with Leo. Two summers ago, I began to have at least 1 migraine a month(usually the day before my period). It was miserable. I had some Zomig which is a prescription migraine medicine but sometimes it seemed as if the meds gave me worse feelings than the migraine. A couple months ago, I began to get migraines again. I am guessing my body is trying to get back into ovulation mode and my hormones are causing them. Well, again I used a Zomig but was completely out of it the next day. I felt like I had been beat up. You see, when you take a prescription migraine medicine, it first tightens everything before it releases and makes your pain go away. At least this is how I feel it. I got a new prescription for relpax which I took in college because I remembering it being more mild on my body. So the week of Christmas, I started to feel a migraine coming on in the middle of the night. I was no nervous about taking the prescription medicine that I decided it couldn't hurt to try this cayenne up-the-nose thing. I dipped my pinky in my new packet of cayenne and sticking it half way up my nose, I sniffed deeply. BURNING! Haha. Yes, at first I thought that this might be along the lines of stepping on some one's foot to distract them form their headache but then 15 minutes later, it was gone! No muscle weakness involved. When I got another migraine at my parents house a few days later, I put on my robe, and scoured my mom's spice rack at 1am. I found some new cayenne pepper and did the same thing. I even did fewer flecks of the pepper to minimize the burning in the nose effect. Again, it was gone in less than 20 minutes. Two successes in one week sold me. I am a cayenne convert. I actually have a small headache now and I think I will try it to see if it works on all of my headaches.

Here are some links about Cayenne pepper and headaches. When I looked it up, I found that many people advocate mixing it in water and drinking it. Very good information for people who suffer from headaches but prefer to use more natural remedies. So who will be brave and try it out? I would love to see posts in my comments if any of you try it and it works for you. Good luck!

http://kellymom.com/herbal/natural-treatments.html#migraine

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20061104105748AATtqhj

A hospital birth story

2011-12-20T09:29:00.000-08:00

I have a friend and fellow doula who is allowing me to share her birth story here. I think many people may think that because I support and have had home births that I think that is the only way to go. Actually I know that the majority of women will not birth at home and there is no reason why a hospital birth can't be as peaceful and respectful. I remember the first birth story I ever read was from my sister in-law while I was pregnant with my first. I found it fascinating and was overwhelmed at the beauty of it. At the time, I was planning on getting to the hospital and getting medicated as soon as possible so this was a new thing for me to read her story. She spoke of leaving the hospital AMA to go get herself something to eat, being at home in the tub, having a doula(what on earth is that??!), her husband sitting behind her while she pushed, and music being played. I loved it but at the time thought that was SO not me. She was in a hospital and had even been on bed rest for many weeks. She educated herself about birth and her body, hired a doula and had a wonderful hospital birthing experience.
Back to my friend, K. She actually wrote me at some point while she was pregnant and shared her plans for a natural birth and wanted me to know that she had been following my blog. Here is her birth story:

My guess date was June 2nd, but instead of a baby I had a prenatal appointment. At that time the midwife (Titi) asked me if I wanted her to sweep my membranes. I did not go to that appointment prepared to answer that question, so I just went along with it. I figured if she suggested it, then it's probably okay to do. (I'm not doing that again.) By the time I made it to my car I felt premenstrual-like cramping. I called Robbie just to let him know what happened and that I was feeling premenstrual.
Around 3:30pm on June 3rd I noticed something that HAD to be bloody show. I wasn't sure that's what it was at the time, though hindsight being what it is, how could I have NOT known that's what it was? Robbie got home around 4pm and I told him about it. He was so excited! I was still feeling crampy from the day before, so around 4:30 I decided I felt like taking a long shower. We were supposed to go to a church function that night, but I just felt like taking time in the shower before we left. I asked him to check on me every 30 minutes just to make sure I didn't fall asleep in the shower or something. I was planning on taking a VERY long shower.
Time went by pretty quickly in the shower, and I stayed in there until 6pm. When I got out to get ready to go, I thought, "I'll just lay down on the bed for a minute." Well, apparently Robbie fell asleep too! He came and woke me up at 7pm. Well, we knew that we weren't going to make it to the church function, but I still wanted to go to Sonic! I was starving! And I wanted one of their Strawberry Limeade drinks. When I stood up to go to the bathroom, something leaked out of me. I told Robbie, "Something just leaked out of me and I don't think it was pee!" We weren't really sure what was going on so we started making a bunch of phone calls.
At around 7:30pm on June 3rd my membranes ruptured, though I did not know it at the time that's what it was. I wasn't having contractions as far as I could tell, so I called the midwife (Debbie) to see if that's what it was. She told me a few things to do, and eventually she just said to come to the hospital to get checked out. We made it to the hospital around 9pm. The drive there was really calm and peaceful because I wasn't feeling any pain and I still didn't think the baby was really coming. I was kind of excited though.
When we got to the hospital they took me to a triage area, hooked me up to some monitors and used some sort of paper to see if my membranes had ruptured. They had! The nurse checked me (I think next time I'll ask them not to do that), and I was still at 3cm. After awhile the nurse told me I was having contractions and they were coming 3-4 minutes apart. I still wasn't feeling them. Robbie left to make some phone calls and I started to feel my contractions when he was gone. This was probably a little after 10pm. It seemed that things took off really quickly after this. It was funny because I was watching a Family Guy episode where Peter delivers a baby. :o)
By the time Robbie got back I wasn't having fun anymore. I actually started gagging during my contractions, and I had not started any kind of coping mechanisms. It was a good idea that we never had a chance to go to Sonic because I probably would have lost my dinner at that point. I remember at some point the nurse brought a birthing ball in there, but I just didn't feel like getting out of the bed yet. I was waiting for them to get my room prepped which seemed to take forever. Debbie came in there and talked to me for a little while. I felt kind of guilty and rude because it was very difficult to talk. I suppose she's used to women getting like that! There were a couple of other mothers she was attending at the same time. Because I was a first timer, they thought I would take a long time.
While I was waiting in triage, Robbie and Debbie would go in and out a couple of times. Because I had not felt my contractions yet, I was not worried. Until then I had been watching the monitor and marveling at the fact that I could not feel what the monitor was showing. I suddenly started feeling them at one point when I was completely alone and I became worried I would not be able to handle those contractions for 12-14 more hours! Robbie came back at some point and helped me start using low deep sounds. Finally my room was ready, but by then it was difficult for me to walk. I'm glad I decided to get wheeled to the room rather than walk; the breeze felt really good.
When I got there I really did not want to have to get out of the chair, but somehow I made it to the bed. When I got there, I had a contraction and blew chunks all over myself! Poor Robbie, I almost got him in the face. They began filling up the tub for me. At some point Debbie came back (she had several ladies to tend to). I remember I was just standing there for some reason, probably looking overwhelmed and lost, and I started having a contraction. She just ran to me and hugged me through the contraction. It took a little while to make it to the tub. I had to lean over the bathroom sink and rock my hips through a wave while Debbie rubbed on my back. I finally made it to the tub and spent the rest of labor in there. Oh boy what a relief!
All I remember is that contractions never seemed to completely go away, even in the water, and Robbie really helped me remember my low sounds. He would vocalize with me and I appreciated him doing that so I would not feel so self conscious. It was the perfect way for him to help me! I tried to visualize each wave as an ocean wave entering a cave and going back out again, as if it was pulling the baby out of me. That was my favorite idea out of all the stories I read, and I tried to use it. I also tried to take each wave one at a time. Debbie (midwife) turned off the lights in there and kept telling what to relax-usually my shoulders. I don't remember what made her decide to get me out of the tub, but she and Robbie helped me out of the tub. I remember saying, "I need to poop!" as I was getting out. Debbie replied, "That's the baby!" I remember feeling a mixture of not really believing her and extreme happiness.
I remember thinking right before they helped me out of the tub that I didn't know how much longer I could handle it, and I definitely understood why women would want relief. I also remember thinking that I wasn't getting any breaks between rushes. I'm not sure if I said these things out loud. Robbie told me I didn't talk during labor. I think the only thing I said was, "Oh sh*t!" when Debbie told me it was time to start pushing. Robbie said that was comic relief!
I made it back to the bed and Debbie checked me for the first and only time that she did that. I was at 9.5 cm. I was so surprised, relieved, and really happy! Debbie got me to do little pushes to get completely to 10cm because I had a little lip of cervix in the way. I think she left the room for a little while and when she came back she said it was time to push. Whoa! Already? Really? (This is the part where I said, "Oh sh*t!" because I don't think I was emotionally ready. I got ready quickly because I thought, "I don't care what happens! I don't care how much it hurts, I'm going to get this baby out! I'm not going to hold back because that will only slow things down. And if I poop on myself oh well!" Yes, I thought all of that, and then got to work. Once I got those thoughts out of the way, I was able to completely focus on the task at hand.)
I don't remember how long the pushing stage lasted but Robbie said it lasted about 30 minutes. I remember being scared of crowning before but it really wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Debbie REALLY did a lot to help me do a good job pushing. After reading many birth stories since then, she was probably protecting my perineum-another reason why crowning may not have been as bad as I thought it would be. And then, all of a sudden, she was out! Debbie immediately put her on my chest and she stayed there for the rest of everything. They helped me latch her on, and I was able to breast feed before they did anything to her. Robbie says the first thing I said to her was, "Hey little thing!" He says that's the sweetest thing he's ever heard and he'll never forget it. I did NOT like when they massaged my uterus after. So Lilian Nicole was born at 2:41am on June 4, 2010. She weighed 8 lbs 3 oz and was 20 inches long. I'm completely in love with my little baby and so impressed with the work my body was able to do! I can't believe I achieved an unmedicated birth, but I am so thankful that I was able to do it. What makes me really happy is how much Robbie is happy with the care I received from the midwives. He didn't trust them at first, but now he really does!
** Note: After the wonderful care I received with from midwives at The Women's Specialists of Houston, I decided to start the journey to become a doula.

So, for all of you out there wondering what things can be done to achieve a positive birth(for YOU..every one's definition is different), here are some suggestions:

1. Pick a hospital with mother/baby-friendly practices..this can include rooming in, no separation from mother, and support of breastfeeding from the time of birth.

2. If you don't want a c-section, avoid a hospital with high c-section rates. One hospital in your city may have a 20% rate and one may have a 50% rate...pick the lower.

3. Pick a practitioner who supports normal birth. Red flags would be anyone who tells you what they will "allow" or ones who brush off your questions. Remember you are paying THEM. You need to feel respected. If you don't get that feeling during pre-natals, you probably won't during labor and birth. I would like to make a plug for Certified Nurse Midwives who practice in hospitals. They have very low intervention rates and are less likely to opt for surgery for their own convenience. They will also be with you during labor more than an OB who will get there when you are pushing. I am not saying that all Dr.s are bad though..there are good ones out there, you just have to find them. Ask them how often they induce, and for what reasons. If getting to your "due date" is a reason to induce, this may end up being a Dr. who does not have patience for your body or your baby. If you have had a c-section before and would like to have a vaginal delivery(VBAC), ask them what percent of their VBACing moms actually have VBACS. It is easy to say you support them but some Dr.s will only "support" one if you go into labor by 40 weeks or whatever other reasons they may come up with.

4. Labor at home as long as you can. The sooner you get to the hospital, the sooner you are on their "clock".

5. When you call to say you are coming in, request a nurse who "enjoys working with unmedicated mothers" This will make a huge difference as your nurse will be with you more than your delivery attendant. No one wants to have a nurse with a chip on her shoulder because you want to walk around, get in water, or eat. Which brings me to my next point.

6. Eat and drink. Want to know a secret?? You can eat in the hospital. They can't force you to only have ice chips. I always feel bad when moms feel they have no choice in this matter. You may need to sign a waiver or eat when the staff leave your room but you should be able to if you want. For faster labors, you may not want to eat but most women will become very thirsty towards the end of labor and during pushing. No one expects marathon runners to go without food or drink to replenish your energy so why do we expect birthing women to go without? I always feel so bad when I know of a woman in labor who was induced or something and it is a 2 day labor. I always think, " I bet she's not even getting anything to eat or drink" and worry about her being too tired or weak when it comes to pushing.

7. Get in positions YOU feel are the most comfortable. A woman on her back is most convenient to the nurses and the Dr. You should not worry about them but about what your body and baby need. I have a cousin who swore when she was pregnant with her 1st that she would do any position BUT hands and knees. She thought it was too animal like I think. Guess what she did when she got to the birth center? She got straight on her hands and knees and pushed her baby out just like that. She did what came naturally to her in the moment. Also, if you have a care provider that will only "let" you birth in certain positions...Red Fag!

8. Hire a doula! Doulas can provide different things for different families. A doula for one mom may provide hours of massage during labor if she is not wanting medication. For another mom, she may provide emotional support during a medicated birth as well as facilitate in postional changes that can help the baby move down if the mother is confined to a bed. Doulas can remind staff of wishes the couple may have regarding their birth. Doulas can think of things the mother or husband, such as bringing a sports drink of water to a mom in between pushes. The list goes on.

To conclude, you have options..but only if you know them. If you don't research your choices in pregnancy and childbirth, you will not have any. One of the perks of birthing at home is that most of this stuff is a given. I wanted to share this example of a hospital birth where the mother was able to birth the way she wanted to and was respected. Every woman deserves to feel respected and empowered during childbirth..whatever kind of birth that is.

Bishop Score, Inductions, and C- Sections

2011-10-09T20:30:00.000-07:00

These days, you can not talk to a group of women about labor without someone mentioning induction. Most of the time, women will say that their bodies "never went into labor on it's own." Sometimes, it will be a suspected large baby. For others, it will be that their fluid was a bit low. Maybe it is for convenience because a doctor is going out of town. Maybe the mom was just "done" with pregnancy. Whatever the reason, inductions are occurring far too often in perfectly healthy women with perfectly healthy uteruses. Most women (once me included) have no clue that there are serious risks to being induced. They may think that Pitocin is the "same thing" your body will produce. After all, if there were no risks, why not know the day your will meet your little one? Why "deal" with pregnancy for a possible week or two past your "due date"?
Intermountain Healthcare in Utah is one of the first hospital groups to stop allowing elective inductions prior to 39 weeks(I wish it was till 41 though). Because of this change in policy, they have seen a dramatic decrease in their c-section rates. I was recently looking at their website and found some information that they had on inductions. Here is what they say about inductions including some graphs.

Expert guidelines:
The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) is a professional organization for doctors who deliver babies. The following guidelines are based on advice from this organization. Your healthcare provider uses these guidelines to make a safe decision about whether or not an elective induction is right for you and your baby. If you don’t meet these guidelines, your healthcare provider may recommend letting labor take its natural course.
Before inducing labor:
Your healthcare provider must confirm that you have not previously had a cesarean delivery (C-section) or major surgery on your uterus.
Your healthcare provider must be certain of your due date to prevent starting labor too early, before your baby is fully developed.
You must be at least 39 weeks along in your pregnancy.
Your cervix must be soft and ready to open (dilate). Your provider can tell this by examining your cervix to determine a Bishop Score, which is the standard measure for assessing the cervix’s readiness for labor. A Bishop Score of at least 10(some studies say 8) for first-time moms (8(6) for others) is a common threshold. With this score, the likelihood of having a vaginal delivery after induction is similar to that of spontaneous labor. See the graphs below to see how Bishop Score relates to length of labor and C-section rate.

When labor is electively induced before 39 weeks of pregnancy:
Your baby is 2 to 3 times more likely to be admitted to intensive care. This will mean a longer and more difficult hospital stay for your baby. It may also make it harder for the two of you to breastfeed or bond.
Your baby may have trouble breathing and need to be connected to a breathing machine (ventilator) to help her breathe.
Your baby may have trouble maintaining body temperature and need to spend time in a warming area (incubator) to keep her body temperature stable.

As you can see, there IS a correlation between inductions and c-sections...especially if the induction is done with a mom having a low bishop score. I can't tell you how many times I have known people who have been induced when they told me they are not yet dilated and their cervix is only 70-80% and the baby is still high in the pelvis. I always wonder if their care provider attempted to attain a favorable bishop score before encouraging the induction.

Here is the problem, if the mom's body is not ready (esp. in a 1st time mom) , it has the potential to lead straight to surgery. If the mom's body is not ready, the cervix may take a while to soften and dilate...this may take longer than a doctor is willing to wait. The baby may also not be in a good position for the descent that it is being forced to do and may not come down. Before you know, the mom is being told that either her pelvis is too small or that her baby is too big and they perform surgery for the birth to occur.

Another scenario that occurs is that the baby does not tolerate the pitocin (which causes stronger and longer contractions) well. The baby's heart rate may dip too low because of the stress and before you know, you have an emergency c-section.

I had pitocin with my first birth. My water had broken but I went straight to the hospital and they immediately put me on pitocin. I did not get to experience my contractions starting on their own; they would have. My first experience with labor was with pitocin..I HATED IT. I got an epidural as soon as I could. Now having experienced early labor for 2 births, I can tell moms the difference. When labor begins on it's own, it is a warm, mild tightening feeling that gradually grows in intensity. You ease into it. It makes labor much nicer in my opinion.

My biggest letdown about inductions(unless truly medically necessary of course) is how undermining it is. Yes, I am sharing MY opinion because you all want to know what it is;-) After all, you came to my blog.

I personally feel that it undermines the woman's body, the baby's readiness to be born, and God, who designed our bodies to work the way they do. To hear a woman say that her body never would have gone into labor makes me sad. Does she believe her body is broken? I hope not. Maybe her body needed 1 more day, or 2, or maybe even a week. I can't tell anyone an exact statistic but I am sure that in the history of man, most women are physically able to go into labor. You may think your baby is ready but maybe your body "cooks" babies a little longer. Here I thought during my last pregnancy that I was 41 weeks pregnant and when my midwife did the newborn evaluation, she told me that Sophia looked more like a 39 week baby.

I remember going to a birth a year ago and the mother's water had broken at 9:30pm. When her contractions started a few hours later, I found myself teary. Why? Because it was almost healing for me to see that it really does work. That my contractions would have started on their own when I was having Bella. I personally believe that the God that made me is a genius. I can not look at how perfectly our bodies are designed and not see divinity. It is amazing how babies grow into these people from a group of cells. Lactation fascinates me. When babies are induced without a medical reason, it is a little like a slap in the face. Mothers are also missing out on seeing how their bodies work.

We seem to be a society that wants everything convenient. We want our food to come fast. We want our Internet fast. We want to have marriages without working on them. We want births to happen when we want them to.

There you have my thoughts as of lately on inductions.

Fact vs. Opinion

2011-09-02T10:22:00.000-07:00

Suppose your child comes to you and tells you that 2+3=6....
Now, you know from your studies that this is not correct; 2+3=5.
Is this you being opinionated?

I suppose it is your opinion since you feel you have facts to back it up. But what if your child got mad at your telling him that really, the sum is 5?

I start with this example because I was recently referred to on someone's blog as opinionated and that she didn't agree with me. I have never even met this woman but she called me wanting advice on inductons. She was a first time mom and had an induction date set for 3 days after her "due date" I put on my doula hat and asked her if she wanted to be induced(if she did and knew the risks involved than it would be her choice) I had been told that she wanted a natural birth(found out on the phone that to her, that meant a vaginal birth) She said she was going back and forth. I told her that I knew how she was feeling as I went past my last due date and most women are so ready to be done. I told her that pitocin does cause stronger contractions and that it is average for a first time mom to go to 41.5 weeks(fact). I wanted her to know however if she chose induction that it can make labor harder on the mom and the baby and does significantly increase the mom's change of a c-section.(also fact) I wanted to make sure she knew that if she did not feel right about it, she could always postpone her induction and see if her baby will come before then.(also a fact that unless medically necessary or truly "post dates", a Dr. can not force you to be induced) I told her that if it were me, I would talk about it with her husband and pray about it(she is a member of my church). I told her that the best thing a woman can do is listen to her instincts.(my opinion I guess)
She did postpone her induction date to 9 days after her "due date" and had a vaginal birth.

Here's where my mind is: I DO have opinions. Pretty strong ones too I guess. When I talk to people with my "doula hat" on though, I keep it almost strictly to the facts. The more educated you are on a topic, the more opinions you will naturally have. A dentist may seem "opinionated" to a patient who does not believe in flossing. However, fact is on the dentist's side that flossing really does help prevent cavities.

I often just re-post what other people write out of fear that people will be offended by my opinion. I do have thoughts though. Education does make you biased though.

So my question(rhetorical or not) is: Can someone disagree with a fact?

It Goes SO Fast

2011-08-16T19:24:00.000-07:00

Isabella '06

Leo '09

Sophia '11

So I just nursed my little baby to sleep and as I was looking at her sweet face, I was reminded how fast it will go. Earlier tonight, Bella asked me to rock her a bit on the rocking chair before she went to bed. As I rocked her and rubbed her almost 5 year-old back, I was sad that she had gotten so big. I thought how soon it will be that I will no longer be able to see her as my baby. Same thing with Leo tonight. I rocked him in his room and he held me and told me that he loved me. Aren't those the moments motherhood is all about?

When Bella was a baby, I remember co-sleeping with her and nursing her and thinking that it felt like I had been doing it forever. I am sure people pitied me when I said that my 15 month still nursed frequently throughout the night and that I did not get 8 hours of sleep till she was 19 months old. Guess what? Now it is gone. I knew this with Leo and just strictly co-slept with him from day 1. I did not need to feel guilty or that I needed to make excuses for sleeping with him or nursing him into toddler hood. I knew that there would be a day that it would end and that I would wish for the days of my little baby cuddled up with me sleeping or nursing.

With Sophia, I have thought of everything from pregnancy until now as a "This will probably be our last child so remember and savor this" kind of thing. I enjoyed my round, pregnant body. I was okay letting labor start when she was ready and even found a way to savor a long labor. I remember feeling her twist out of me and tried as hard as I could to remember that feeling. I am not in a hurry for her to sleep all night without me(even though she has already come close). I am not in a hurry for nursing to end.

As crazy as 3 kids is to me, I am trying to remind myself to drink my little ones in; to smell them and rub their baby soft skin. Life will get busy with school, lessons, meetings, etc. For now, I will take as much cuddling on the couch or rocking to sleep as I can get.

A Birth Story (where I was the doula)

2011-08-08T14:20:00.001-07:00

So, last Fall I posted THIS account of a birth I attended as a doula. I loved being a part of this birth and I think it changed me as a doula in how I can connect with the mom. Here is the same birth story as told by the mother. It is neat to read how she experienced it all as well as the way I remember it. Her birth was at the Austin Area Birth Center.

Thank the heavens! (Jet's birth story)
by Debbie Day on Sunday, April 10, 2011 at 10:18am

I know the expression “thank the heavens” is often overused, but throughout the proceedings of my first pregnancy and childbirth, it is perfectly fitting to how I felt.
I had wanted to be a wife and mother for as long as I can remember. I was 15 when my Mum said she thought I would set back women’s liberations 50 years. She thought I would be married and delivering my first child by the age of 18! She was more than joyful that I was realistic, waited to find my perfect match, was married at 21 and then enjoyed close to four years of marriage before having our first baby! Anyway, as a late teenager and in my early twenties I had often thought how painful childbirth looked and as much as I wanted babies, it terrified me so bad that I had considered (very briefly) adopting instead of going through, what looked to be, the scariest, most traumatic experience known to women.
So there I was, happily married and preparing to fall pregnant. I resolved my thought process by telling myself “Birth is natural. Women’s bodies are designed for it and they have been doing it for millenniums…it can’t be that horrific if most women have more than 1 child…” I had thought of ways to make my body less stressed during childbirth and had heard some good things about water birth.
I was on Facebook one day looking at a new friend’s photo albums when I noticed she had a hospital birth for her first child and a home water birth for her second child. I remember messaging her to ask about her experience. I had just stumbled upon the greatest friend one could have in my situation. Sarah was not only an experienced home, water-birther, she was a doula and very passionate about helping others learn about natural birthing. Thank the heavens!
Sarah told me about her birth stories and said she would love to be my doula when we fell pregnant. She told me of birthing centre’s in Austin (Texas), but I would just have to find one that accepts our insurance. Overjoyed, a couple of months and 2 positive pregnancy tests later our doctor gave me a referral see an OBGYN. Our insurance only covered referred specialists and so I went along to our appointments at the (very impersonal) OB, still hoping that by some miracle I wouldn’t have to deliver our baby in the hospital (C-section rate was about 40-50%, which terrified me!). Sarah had supplied me with a couple of books but the one I liked the most was “Husband Coached Childbirth”. Wow, the floodgates of research were opening! I bought the book “Natural Childbirth-The Bradley Way”, which is a newer book similar to the first and started training my mind and body to relax using the techniques in the book. I started feeling confident, “ I can do this, I can have a drug-free, natural childbirth!”
By the time I was 25 weeks pregnant we had decided our baby would be born in Austin. After lots of searching for a way to have a water birth, lots of reading and lots of praying, this is part of a message I wrote to Sarah… ”I was looking to see if my insurance covers any birthing centre’s in Austin, and guess what?! Lol, Austin Area Birthing Center is in my insurance network (as of April this year!) and they have birthing tubs!” The next message continued “SO I am really excited now about this birthing center...Ahh just when I had almost given up on having a water birth!! Last night I was showing Wes the website for the birthing center and there is a video of a woman giving birth in the tub and so we watched a bit of that..it was a really good thing for Wes and I to watch together and talk about.. Then he noticed on the website they have a new centre, opening up on William Cannon by the end of summer!! So I started getting excited because how perfect is that-they only just started accepting my insurance there, and by the time baby is due we won’t even have to travel to the North location!! After praying about it with Wes last night and feeling really good about this center, I called today to see if they have room and to check about the insurance and it's all working out great…PS. Thank you so much for all the information you've provided, if it wasn't for you I would have given up a long time ago!” Thank the heavens!!
After changing from the OB to the birthing centre, I felt so relieved. The midwives were very lovely and so friendly, everything was working out perfectly! My husband and I searched for a Bradley birthing class (I had wanted to attend a class but it was also a requirement of the birthing centre) that suited our schedule and we finally found a wonderful lady willing to start classes on a Saturday. Chan’s classes were great, we learned so much and enjoyed preparing ourselves for our baby.
My Mother and step-Father flew over from Perth a week before the estimated due date. I could tell the baby was getting ready to make entry into our world, as my feet were getting very puffy each day (I felt like the Michelin man!) but up until then I had enjoyed every second of my pregnancy. I was able to enjoy a week of shopping, dining and going out and about with my Mother and step-Father, then on the night before the “due date” we went out to Buffalo Wild Wings for a late dinner and I stuffed myself full of delicious wings. Wow, had I eaten too much? I went home (roughly 9.30pm) and went to the bathroom feeling the urgent need, as you do when you’re pregnant, when it was like someone had turned on a tap! I was certain my waters had broken and I began feeling, more clearly, ‘Braxton hicks’.
I was excited and very nervous all at the same time! I started shaking from nerves and tried to calm myself enough to go out and tell my husband and parents. Weeks earlier I had tested positive for Group B Strep, so because my waters had broken, I went in to the birthing suite to get a dose of antibiotics. Sarah, my friend and doula, met us there. My contractions hadn’t really started yet, so after receiving the IV antibiotics, the midwife told me to go home and get as much sleep as possible. We were to come back in four hours to get the next dose and hopefully the contractions would start by themselves.
I went home and my husband was out like a light! I wasn’t as lucky, my contractions gradually intensified but I was fortunate enough, to at least get some rest before we had to go in for the next dose. It was around 3.30am and my contractions were seven minutes apart. We asked the midwife if we could stay, rather than going back and forth in the car, as my contractions were 3-4 minutes by the time the IV had finished and they were very intense. The midwife didn’t believe I was far enough along and I clearly remember Sarah saying “Well, unless she’s handling the contractions like a horse...” or something to the same effect. I was trying very hard to relax through each contraction and just kept breathing deeply. The midwife checked and I was 5.5cm dilated. I felt proud and slightly smug that I was obviously handling the pain well. Needless to say I was in active labor and wasn’t sent home.
I continued laboring on the fit ball, where the contractions seemed easily managed by swaying and rolling my hips, while sitting upright on the ball. My husband was on the bed and my head was resting on my forearms beside him, while I sat on the ball, his hand on my knee. At one point he moved his hand, only for me to grab it and put it back. He then knew he had to be touching me and he never let go of me again. My Mum was in the room encouraging me by her words and presence. Sarah was sitting behind me, putting counter-pressure on my lower back, massaging and swaying with me. I wasn’t sure what I would need from anyone before labor had started, but at this point I knew I just needed to feel my husband beside me, my Mother near and Sarah was very in tune and knew exactly the right thing to do. She hummed and “aaah’d” along with me and it was very calming and peaceful. Thank the heavens for my great support team!
My last round of antibiotics was around 7.30am and a half an hour later “my” midwife (my favorite) started her shift. I was hoping she would be assisting me, so I was very happy! My contractions were peaked with intensity and I was doing all I could to focus each time on relaxing. I still remember clearly the sounds of deep humming I was making and the way I would roll my neck around and around, with my eyes closed, thinking of nothing other than getting through the pain each contraction would bring. Such sweet release when it eased and disappeared each time!
Finally the time arrived for me to get into the tub. It was warm and oh so comfortable! I found it more difficult to handle the pain but I just kept swaying my hips and concentrating on relaxing. I could feel the baby moving down and I felt the need to push. There was a lip of my cervix that wouldn’t budge and after a while of my midwife trying to move it manually in the tub, she suggested I get out and try pushing on the bed. With support from everyone, I moved from the tub to the bed. I hadn’t peed in a while and I felt the need, but when I went to the toilet I just couldn’t get the flow to start! I had minty smelling oil in the toilet to encourage it along but after several contractions, I knew it just wasn’t going to happen and so I got back on the bed and the midwife used a catheter to give me some ease.
My midwife continued trying to manually move the lip of my cervix at every contraction and it wasn’t long before I was pushing with all of the power I could muster. Every time I had a contraction I would keep pushing until I just couldn’t push anymore. I kept thinking, “Is this baby going to come out? Am I going to have this baby stuck inside me?” Everyone kept encouraging me and saying when my baby’s head was showing. One time they said “Feel your baby’s head!” and guided my hand down to feel the soft crown of hair. But every time I stopped pushing, baby would slip back up and the head would disappear. And then I felt the burn and I knew that my baby was almost here! I continued to push with strength that I never knew I had. Although I only pushed for 35 minutes, it felt like hours! Finally my baby’s head was out, they told me to stop pushing and it was the biggest relief. I relaxed, as I felt my baby move down and the “eel-like” feeling of baby’s body and legs making their way out. Thank the heavens!!
My beautiful baby took my breath away. I cried with joy to see the perfection! All of the pain and hard work was already forgotten as I studied my little darling’s face! Wes told me with intensity in his eyes and happiness streaming down his cheeks we had just birthed a BOY! My Mum and Sarah were watching with tears in their eyes. I felt so blessed and cried even more joyous tears- we had an amazing baby boy, on his “due date” Halloween! Thank the heavens!!
Wes cut the umbilical cord a few minutes later. We lay there, adoring our precious boy and enjoying the rest, the relief after 8 hours of active labour. I randomly felt some pain in my stomach and remember looking down and shooting a look at the assistant, I didn’t realize what she was doing but it didn’t feel good. She stopped immediately and it wasn’t long before my placenta came out..and so did a lot of blood, fast! I was hemorrhaging and I felt the mood change as my midwife began to shoot orders to her assistants. She had one hand applying pressure on my abdomen and the other hand trying to manually stop the bleeding from the inside. I felt the warm liquid bubbling out of me and I just kept looking at the faces of my support, my husband-who didn’t look concerned (my strength!), my Mum-who looked very assertive and then I saw Sarah’s face. She obviously didn’t want me to worry but I could also read her expression of concern and fright. Although I continued to study my new little man as he lay on my chest, I was still a little worried and I turned to ask, “Am I going to be alright?” My Mum quickly replied with assurances and I didn’t question it again. The assistants gave me an herb called Hem-Halt orally and very quickly after a pitocin shot in one thigh and a methergine shot in the other.
My midwife told me to try imagining the flow stopping, just like turning off a tap. It wasn’t long before the bleeding subsided and the mood was relaxed again. Phew! My midwife informed me that the blood loss wasn’t a huge amount (average is 1-2 cups and I had lost 3) but she just needed to get it under control quickly because it started flowing so fast. THANK THE HEAVENS!
I realized later that the umbilical cord being pulled was the reason for the sharp pain in my stomach before the placenta coming out. Had this been the reason for my hemorrhaging? I’d like to think not but I will never let ANYONE touch the umbilical cord in future births, that is for certain!
We began our journey, learning to breastfeed and everything was wonderful. After seeing everything was great, my amazing friend/doula Sarah went home (she had labored with me all night being over 3 months pregnant herself, and still had to travel an hour to get home!). My Mum and step-Father stayed for a little while before going back to our apartment with my in-laws, who had briefly visited us. My husband and I rested at the birthing centre for about 6 hours and then took our newborn blessing home. Our son is now 5 months old and I still study him in adoration, he’s just perfect!
Giving birth to Jet was amazingly empowering and I am so grateful for the knowledge I had gained through research (and the Bradley Birthing classes) and that we were surrounded by love and support that helped to make our experience so wonderful. We've moved back to Australia now but if I could, I would fly Sarah and my midwife over to help us bring the rest of our children into the world. We were very blessed and I thank the heavens!!

Vocalizing during labor

2011-08-08T13:39:00.001-07:00

So I was reading THIS article today from a childbirth educator about "Sounding" out your birth. I think this is so validating to many women. She talks about how many of us watch other's birth videos with sound edited out so we don't hear what women can sound like during labor. With Leo, since I had taken Hypnobabies, I was a little embarrassed that I had made so much noise..kind of a yelling/vocalizing sound. The videos we had seen showed the moms heavy breathing at best. I realized after his birth that I am not quiet when I am not in labor, so why would I be during this intense physical work. I was loving the sounds I was making during Sophia's birth. I had music on and Gary said that I was pretty much always in tune with whatever song was on. It felt so good and relaxing to actually sing a long, loud note rather than yell. I knew as a singer how much easier it was to use a supported sound rather than lose my voice yelling or screaming. I was amazed at how long I could hold each note. I watched some of the video I have from my labor with her and I sound so strong. I was still VERY loud..especially as the contractions were building. Gary had to turn his head a bit so he wouldn't get ringing in his ear since I was face to face with him most of my labor. I think it needs to be put out there that a woman is not a "better" birther because she is quiet. Whatever makes your body relax and open the best is going to vary from woman to woman. If you need to belt like a Broadway singer, hum, sigh, grunt, yell, or drone, do it. It is not a measure of how good a birther you are. Some who saw or heard about my last 2 births may think that since I was loud, I was not very good at having a peaceful natural birth. Let me say that as intense as it was and as loud as it got, it was a peaceful birth. I felt strong and did what I needed to do. I was felt respected and loved. I was treated with love and so were my babies as they were born.

So to others who might feel worried about being vocal or seeming out of control during labor, just know that you are not alone and there is no need to feel like you have to birth like the zen ladies on youtube.

Some Pictures

2011-06-22T14:49:00.000-07:00

Until I figure out how to get a slideshow on here of Sophia's birth, here are a couple of my favorites.

Sophia's Birth Story

2011-05-08T11:19:00.000-07:00

It has now been a week since my little Sophia was born. I wanted to wait a bit longer this time before I wrote down a birth story so that I would have time to process it more. I was grateful to have passed my estimated due date (from the 20 week ultrasound) for a few reasons. It was really nice not having a date looming over my head whether other people knew my EDD or not. It became just a simple waiting game. Another reason is that now I know what it feels like and can empathize with other pregnant moms who will pass this arbitrary but mind-consuming "date".

I woke up Saturday the 30th of April a little bummed that nothing had started overnight but more annoyed that I was even closer to being a full week past my due date. I worked a bit in the yard with Gary and looked forward to a backyard party that I was going to be able to attend that evening. It is always good to have plans so you don't sit around obsessing. At the party around 5:30pm, I had a braxton hicks contraction that felt a bit tighter and I could feel a warm sensation in my sacrum at the same time. I told a woman I was talking to that I may have just had my first early labor contraction. I noticed that I was having this sensation about every 15-20 minutes. So mild but I did tell Gary that I thought this was the beginning of things. We left about an hour or 2 later. I texted my mom, sister in law, and midwife about what I was feeling. Things started to get a little more uncomfortable when we got home. By 9:30pm, it was every 10-15 minutes. I called our friend from church who was going to watch our kids during the birth. We decided that instead of us waiting till they woke to my noise making, we would drop them off around 10:30pm so they would just already be asleep and not have to worry about me. I told Bella before she went to sleep that she would probably wake up in Pam's house and that she needed to be a big helper for Leo who might be a little confused. This was really exciting to her. I fully anticipated that I would have a baby in my arms by the time they woke up the next morning....

Things stayed about every 10-12 minutes apart..still mostly strong tightening in my lower back. I called my parents around 10pm and told them it would be better for them to leave now than to have me wake them up at 2am and have to drive or possibly miss the birth. They headed out from Houston around 11pm. I knew that the smartest thing would be for me to sleep and Gary got in bed around 11pm or so but my contractions had gotten to the point that I could NOT lay down on a bed during them. I had to be leaning over or moving in some way. I rocked on the edge of the bed, on my hands and knees, leaning over counters and just tried to find what was most comfortable for me. This was a long, lonely night. I wanted to rest but it was pointless if I would only be comfortable for 8-9 minutes at a time. The contractions did space out a bit in the early morning hours but never got farther apart than 20 minutes. When everyone awoke, I was happy because I could walk around and hopefully get things going...I was pretty tired. Looking at my log of contractions from Sunday, they stayed every 7-13 minutes ALL DAY LONG. They grew in intensity but never got closer together. By the early afternoon, I was having to vocalize during each contraction. I remember thinking that the way I was feeling was more like my contractions with Leo when they were every 3 minutes or so. It was mighty confusing. My dad left after lunch time to go pick up the kids and take them to the hotel they were going to stay in. My mom left a bit after that as well to join them till things picked up for me. Then my sister in law, who was going to be taking pictures, called to see if she should come over then before things got more intense. I said that was fine as I felt that it would not be much longer even though my contractions were STILL every 10 minutes. By the time she got to my house, I was having to really make noise during the contractions. I would stand or kneel by Gary, hold onto him and sing the loudest note for as long as I could. It really did take the edge off to vocalize like that...I am not a person who could have a quiet birth. Basically since 8:30am, Gary had let me hold him for every single contraction. He's the man!

We called my midwife around 4pm or so and I just wanted her to tell me that I sounded far along even though my contractions were not yet 5 minutes apart like we had discussed. She told me to wait a bit longer unless I really felt I needed her there. I did and it was not long before I had Gary call her and say that I was having super intense contractions and that I would like her to come. I kept telling Gary that if I was my own doula, I would think I was in or nearing transition. I had already expressed my thoughts that I didn't think I could do it anymore and I was a little shaky at the end of my contractions. My midwife got to my home and I wanted to have my IV antibiotics(I was GBS+ and had chosen to have antibiotics) It was just one bag so I knew it would only take about 15 minutes to get into my system. I just did not want to wait too long and have to have the IV while I was even more in labor. Shortly after we were done with that, I told Gary that I was going to be sick. He knew to immediately get the "puke bowl" and put it in front of me. I let it all out and when I was done, turned to my midwife, and said something like,
"see..it seems like transition but my contractions are only every 7-8 minutes" She agreed that it looked like I was farther along. I decided then to get into the birth pool that was set up in my room.

It was then about 7pm or so. As I stepped into the pool, it was like my labor went away for a few minutes. I was completely blissed out by the warm water and said, "Now THIS is why I love waterbirth!" My muscles just melted. Since we were in my room and I thought things would be wrapping up pretty soon, I had Gary turn on my birth playlist. I was grateful for the beautiful music I had chosen to listen to during my labor. There was Sarah McLachlan, Josh Groban, Ingrid Michaelson, Enya, Iron and Wine, Mormon Tabernacle Choir, Jack Johnson, Corrine Bailey Raye, Sade, and even me and Gary. It was very uncomfortable during my contractions and I would still hold onto Gary and sing a low note as long and as strong as I could but I was actually letting myself savor the experience. I took refreshing breaths in between the surges and thought of my beautiful children, my life, my husband, the incredible love I felt in the room, and thought about this probably being my last time to experience this sacred experience. I relished that when the contraction was over, it was over. I did not have to dwell on it or wait in fear of the next one. I allowed myself to experience fully the emotions that flooded through me. Some were happy, some were joyful, and some were fearful and doubtful.

I am pretty sure at some point the contractions got very close together but once I was in my bedroom, I had no clock to notice nor did I really care. I remember looking out the window at the light and guessing by the light that maybe it was 8pm or so. My midwives sat on the floor, knitting and just holding my space. I appreciated this as I had really wanted most of my labor to be just me and Gary as conception had been. My mom was in the chair in the corner reading and holding the peace as well. Leilani sat on our bed and snapped pictures but by that point of my labor, I did not even notice her. I am grateful for the people I chose to have at this birth...I felt loved and supported the whole time. I had deep trust in every single one of them.

Here's the hard stuff: At some point, I could hear myself getting a bit grunty at the end of the contractions and my midwife could hear it was well. They asked me if I felt like pushing. They told me to just listen to my body and if I wanted to, I could. I wasn't sure if my body was holding me back or if I was just really scared about that whole part. I told the apprentice that I was scared to push. She told me to just let everything be soft and think "open". After a while, since I did not have the overwhelming urge to push but thought that my body was about to hit it's limit and needed to be done, I asked them to check my cervix so I could know if I should just go for it or if I should labor down a bit more. The apprentice did and then in a calm voice, she just said, "it's not time to push." I knew this wasn't a good sign because she didn't tell me how dilated I was but before I could ask her, I had another big contraction and leaned back into Gary. She went into my bathroom with my midwife to discuss what she knew. They both came back together and as gently as they could tell me, told me that my cervix was a 4 and very posterior. My heart dropped...a stinkin' 4!!! (I later learned it was a 3 and they were being nice) My midwife told me that I was having 9-10cm contractions but that since my cervix was so far back, it was over my daughter's forehead instead of the back of her head and that it was having a hard time dilating without her head being right over it. She told me that it was soft enough that she could try to slip it over her head if I wanted and that I would be able to push into the contractions like my body was wanting to. I decided to try some positional changes first as this sounded painful but trying a contraction facing downward with my legs out behind me and my arms supporting me was awful as was sitting on a little stool in the water. I consented to let her pull my cervix forward. I was on my side in the water with Gary holding me up under my arms and the apprentice holding my upper leg out of the way. I had to hold that position with my midwife moving my cervix for 2 consecutive contractions. In complete honesty, this was the most pain I had felt in my entire life. I just yelled my way through it. When she was done, she told me I was a 9, maybe more. As much as it had hurt, I was grateful that I could be done soon and the vision of me transferring to the hospital for an epidural went away. I kept vocalizing/grunting through a few more contractions. The apprentice asked me if I could feel the baby moving down at all. I told her it hurt a bunch but I was not feeling that overwhelming urge to push. They asked to check me again and then I got more sucky news: my cervix had slipped back to a 3-4! I felt like I was being defeated. I felt that my body could not possibly exert any more strength. I had filled my tolerance for pain and surely I was going to pass out any minute. I needed to be done. My midwife told me that it would be best if I could get out of the water and sit on the birth chair/stool.(A birth chair is shaped like a U and the baby can be born on it) She told me that if I wanted to get back in the water later I could. She was going to pull my cervix forward again but suggested breaking my water this time to get the baby's head to hold it from slipping back. It seemed to make sense to me so I said, "yes."

She did it again during at least one contraction and again, it HURT! However, this time, I DID get the urge to really start bearing down. I was grateful for this. I knew that pushing a baby out was not going to be pleasant but I knew this was the last part. I loved getting to fully bear down and save my voice. I was summoning all the strength my body had left. I felt my stomach occasionally as I was pushing and noted how strong it was. It made me feel stronger to feel how strong my uterus was and how hard my body was working. Gary was letting me lean into him and pushed on my lower back as much as he could as that was where my contractions always hurt the most. I even had my left fist balled up behind my back to help with the counterpressure. Jessica, the apprentice, was stretching my perineum with olive oil and Laurie, my midwife, was doing a hip squeeze to help open my pelvis more as well as aid in my comfort. My hamstrings began to really tighten up as they did in Leo's birth and my mom helped to massage them. I was really grateful to be on the chair at this point so I did not have to support my own weight. I remember feeling the burning that accompanies crowning. I put my hand down to feel Sophia's warm head full of hair. I remember saying, "oh baby, baby..." Then I could see that an arm had come out. I reached down and pulled the rest of her out of me and brought her directly to my chest. The pain was gone and I was holding my warm, soft, little Sophia. I was elated that I had done it..I was strong and my body did not fail me.

This was a little after 10pm. We moved to the bed where everyone left us for a while to get to know our new baby. It was just perfect. About an hour or so later, we weighed her and she was 8lbs 8oz. She was 20.5 inches long and her head was 14.5 inches. We were pretty tired so after she was examined and I was checked out
(no tearing..woot!), we ate some food and went to bed by 1am.

In the week after her birth, I have thought a lot about it and how I feel about it. It has taken me writing this to see that although the length and intensity of it may turn many off to natural childbirth, it was a great birth. Here's why: As I recount it, I have all good feelings. I was respected the whole time by my birth team. I let myself enjoy as much as I could. Going through that with Gary has made me love him even more...if that's possible. I felt safe the whole time. I think the biggest reason is that I have never felt more empowered. After all that pain and pushing and being so so tired, I have never felt stronger. Our bodies are beautifully made and birth is a miracle.

How I'm feeling at 36 weeks

2011-03-28T11:38:00.000-07:00

Well, it is coming fast! I am now 36 weeks and the rest of my pregnancy is going to fly by. My midwife comes to my home this week and I will be seeing her every week from now on. I am feeling "nesty" now. I want my house cleaner than it is...justification for a maid? I want to have all my birth supplies ready but I still have not ordered them. I bought a few items today at the grocery store for the birth. I am getting excited to see Sophia but I am still nervous about how Leo will handle it. He is very clingy to me and he is still such a baby to me. Bella, at his age was so independent and ready to take on the role of big sister. I have some understandable worries about giving birth again...not safety or anything but the pain. I have lost some of the muscle memory of exactly how Leo's birth felt but I do remember that it took me to my breaking point. I have never broken a bone or injured myself in any way so birth was the most pain I had ever experienced. I don't want to scare people off but I am just describing my personal experience. I am hoping that since I now know what to expect, it will not be as bad to me. With Leo, I know a lot of the pain I felt had to do with the fears I had and because of those fears, my body tensed way up and I felt more pain than I needed to. I have decided to go into this birth with an attitude of, "BRING IT". I want to enjoy as much of the birth as I can. I want to let my body take over and just let it happen. I want to listen to my body and do what it says. I do not want to feel like I need other people to "save me" from my birth. I do not want to choreograph the birth but just have lots of options available to me and do what I want at the time. I feel safe with my body, my husband, and my midwives.
This week, I want to print out some good birthing affirmations and put them around my bedroom and bathroom where I will see them a lot. I will update more later.

Family - Centered Cesearean Birth

2011-03-11T07:18:00.000-08:00

This is such a great approach to cesearean birth. If I was a mom and I knew I had to have a c-section, I would bring in this video to any doctor who would watch and try to make this happen.

My Leo is 2

2011-03-08T13:23:00.001-08:00

We had a Birthday Party for Leo on Saturday. A VERY small one as he didn't even know it was his birthday. Oh how different it was when Bella turned 2. He loves airplanes so I did my best to give his party an Airplane theme. The cake was my pride of the day and it was pretty tasty too! He got a new towel, a truck with blocks, and a small Thomas train set.
It seems like just yesterday I was writing his Birth Story and here he is 2. He is still my baby and I've had a lot of worries and guilt surrounding having our third child in the next couple of months. He is sweet but still needs me so much. I wish I could give him more time as the youngest. I think I will do another post on my emotional state during this pregnancy..especially as it is coming to a close.

Family Pics

2011-03-05T15:25:00.000-08:00

We took these pictures today and I think the kids are so cute! We had a small party for Leo's 2nd Birthday(will post birthday-related pictures on Monday..Leo's actual birthday) I just had to get pictures of them looking so cute. Have a great weekend!

Two Peas in Two Pods!

2011-03-05T15:00:00.001-08:00

This is me and my sister in-law, Audrey. She is due any day now and here I was about 31 weeks along. I just had to document the both of us with our blossoming bellies. Our daughters will be less than 2 months apart. I can't wait to meet her this week!

29 weeks

2011-02-07T11:11:00.000-08:00

So here are a couple of pictures of me at 29 weeks into this pregnancy. I think I am about as big as I was last time but it seems as if I am carrying higher. I had a midwife appointment last week and it went really well. I enjoy chatting and I pretty much always end up having hour long visits because of that. Everything seems to be going just great which means there's not much to talk about I guess. I decided not to do the glucose test as I don't feel I am at risk and I check my urine myself at every visit and there have been no deviations from perfect on the paper strips. I will now be going every 2 weeks to see her which will probably make the time fly by. I have been giving thought to whether or not I would do the Group B screening and I am leaning towards doing it. I did not with Leo and felt good with that but since it is not invasive to the baby or anything, I may just pay the extra $50 to see(and I will get to swab myself so that makes me more comfortable). We talked about doulas and birth preparation for this birth and I decided not to use a doula this time. I feel like a hypocrite but my midwife and her assistant told me that less moms use doulas at homebirths versus at the hospital or birth center. The apprentice who has been a doula for a long time said that she did not even have one at her birth. I want to be supported but I don't want too many people there. I will have Gary, my midwife, her apprentice, my sister-in-law, and probably my mother if she gets here in time. I am excited to have my sister in law, Leilani, who is a great photographer do birth photography for me. This will be her first time photographing a birth but I know she'll do great! To see her work, you can look at www.photosbylei.com I am also excited for my mother to be at the birth. She has not been able to be at my other ones as we were in Utah but it seems like a very bonding thing and even though she has witnessed many births in her career as a nurse(mostly L&D), she has never been to a birth out of a hospital setting.

I got a call from a friend yesterday during her labor. She is a friend from college and she was wanting to know when she should go to the hospital. I was so happy I could help her. She had told me that she was not wanting to get to the hospital too soon and worried that her labor would stall once she got there. I asked her if she really wanted to get there just in time to push and she said,"yes." So I told her some signs to look for that she was close to that stage. This is her first baby and she had been laboring since the early morning but I knew it could go on longer. I told her that if she started shaking during contractions, throwing up, grunting at the end of a contraction, or most of all, if her gut told her it was time to go, that would be the right time. I don't know how it all played out yet but a couple of hours ago, she sent me a text picture of her new baby boy. I can't wait to hear how it all went. I told Gary last night that I love being a part of a woman's birthing time. I told him with a few tears in my eyes that my friend was going to become a mother today and how honored I felt to have been even a tiny part of her day. That is why I love being a doula. I get to be a small part of a miracle. I get to talk to a woman or be with a woman as she experiences one of the most sacred moments life has to offer.

Ouch :-(

2010-12-30T14:00:00.001-08:00

So, I now know why I don't want to allow anonymous comments. I just got an awful one. Here it is...I will edit the cuss word.

"You are a crazy b****. You've been around just a few births and read some books and you act like you know more than the professionals who have had years of schooling and experience. Just because a woman doesn't give birth your way doesn't mean she's doing it wrong. Get off your damn soap box! "

My feelings are pretty hurt but I will try to tell myself that that is the comment of some angry blog troll just looking to say something mean to a doula. I find it funny that the criticism does not match my last post to which they were referring. I wrote about birth #2 and was talking about how it was a wonderful experience and how I loved being there. I did not mention anyone birthing in any kind of "wrong" way.
I talked about my worry about cord traction which any medical professional should know is not safe when the placenta is still attached..it can cause hemorrhage or even uterine prolapse.

Deep breath in...deep breath out....so much hate out there. Man, I don't go on people's blogs, call them out, cuss at them and hide behind the name "anonymous".

Can I get some love from all of you who don't think I am a "crazy B****" ? Thanks to all the people who love me.

Birth Story #2

2010-12-14T10:05:00.001-08:00

The next birth I attended was a first time mommy and another friend of mine. Her baby was "due" on October 31th but I had mentally planned to attend her in November as it was her 1st baby. After all, my last mom had her baby on he EDD and what are the chances that this one would as well. Plus..I needed to be around Halloween night to take my kids trick or treating. On Friday October 29th, I called D and told her we were going to San Antonio for the afternoon the following day. I asked her if anything had changed and she told me,"no" and to enjoy ourselves.
So we got to spend a few hours at Six Flags but had to leave by 3pm or so because Gary was playing his violin at a wedding in the early evening. Then as we pull up to gridlock traffic, I begging to call my dad and brother to ask what time the UT football game was that day. Sure enough, we were in crazy football traffic. Since we do not have smart phones, my brother in Houston sent an email to the bride saying that Gary would be late but was coming as fast as he could. I am just setting the stage of our very busy and action packed afternoon. We got home, and as soon as he changed, Gary booked it to the wedding(which luckily everybody was late to because of the game traffic) I went inside, grabbed my pumpkin and headed directly to a pumpkin carving party. The kids never even got out of the car. After the party, we came home and noticed a cul-de-sac party going on across from our house. We went over, met neighbors, and ate our weight in smoked BBQ meat. Then we put the kids to bed and just as I was about to collapse...my phone rings..haha.
It was 9:30pm or so and she told me her water had just broken. She was birthing at a birth center which I was excited to see because I had never been to a birth center birth before. She had to go there to get a round of antibiotics and I told her I would just meet her there. Normally, I wouldn't have left before any contractions had even started but the birth center is about 40 minutes away from me and I did not want to drive there at 2-3am when all the drunks from the Halloween parties/bars were out on the road. I just figured I would try to crash at her place.
So off I go at 10pm and by 11:15pm, I finally arrived. She seemed happy and I had to pee so I went to the bathroom. I then noticed that I had bled a little(mind you I was 14-15 weeks pregnant at the time) I felt a bit panicked and asked the midwife about it. She said it was probably nothing..maybe from sex or something. It still freaked me out. Then we went back to D's apartment and she and her husband and her parents got some rest. My cramping continued as did the blood. Luckily it was more brown so I was not worried about a placental abruption or anything. I texted my midwife to let her know what was going on and she told me to have the midwife at the birth center check heart tones when we went back.
Needless to say, I did not sleep. I was on a small couch and D's parents were watching a movie on the couch next to me.(They had come from Australia so the jet lag still had them fully awake at midnight) We went back to the birth center around 3am...I think. She had to get another IV of antibiotics. Luckily though, around 1am or so, her contractions had begun on their own. We got there and after they started the IV, we asked if we could just stay. No one else was there and who wants to keep going back and forth in a car. The midwife said that sh didn't think D was far enough along. I had been writing down her contractions and she was having them consistently every 3-4 minutes. This midwife was just going on D's reaction to them which was to go inward and breathe quietly. I guess she thought someone farther along would be louder. Well, D was checked and found to be 5.5 cm! So we stayed and got settled in. Her husband got on the bed and just chilled which was amusing to me. He is a very sweet soft spoken man who loves his wife dearly..however I think D had mentioned to me earlier in her pregnancy that he would not mind if birth was like the old days where the husbands were not there. I think he just did not know what to expect and was a little nervous how it would unfold. So, I knew going into the birth that unlike the previous birth a few weeks earlier where the husband wanted to be the primary labor support, I would be in that role for this birth.
She positioned herself on her birth ball and I sat on one behind her, rubbing her back as her contractions came. I got her water and asked her to guide me as I was giving counter pressure to make sure she was as comfortable as possible. I was so tired and a bit out of it at this point as her labor became more active that my thinking brain kind of turned off and my instincts took over. I think I did the best I could as a doula at the births I attended before having a natural birth myself but this time, I knew in my bones what it felt like to be a laboring woman. Because she was a friend and I wasn't worried about stepping on her husband's toes, I let myself support her as it came naturally.
As I sat behind her, I knew she liked the quietness of her birthing space so I didn't talk much. I leaned my head against her back as I swayed with her. I let myself "sync up" with her. When she started to make sounds, I "aaah'd" and hummed right along with her. I remember feeling so supported when Gary did this with me as I was laboring with Leo. At one point the new assistant midwife came in and was very loud in her talking. It just sounded so harsh compared to how the room was before she came in. She asked her if she knew about homeopathics and the proceeded to give D a history of them. I just kept thinking in my head,"shut up lady..you're messing with her birth zone" Finally she gave D a couple white pellets and left. I asked D, "is she a bit loud for you?" Immediately D said yes and that she had been praying for a contraction so the assistant would shut up. haha!
D's husband at this time had moved to the side of the bed where he could have contact with D who was still on the ball next to the bed. It was sweet, all she needed form him was for him to keep his hand on her leg..just to know he was there.
We then were able to get D into the tub which she had been wanting for a while. The tub was oblong and one end was in the corner of the room so I had D put her head towards the room so I could stay sitting on the ball and keep my hands on her back/shoulders, arms..etc. I pulled her very beautiful, very long hair into the best bun I could manage while she figured out what was the most comfortable position for her in the tub. When she would have a contraction, I would reach my hands as far down into her back as I could to try to give her the pressure I was giving her earlier. This was not so easy on my body or my back. Then she felt a bit like pushing so the midwives had her turn the other way so they could have access to the baby should she birth in the tub. The only place for me to be where I could do my job was in the little corner behind her head. My un-flexible legs were stretched past 90 degrees and my left leg was jammed behind the faucet, careful not to turn more water on. At this point, I kept giving her sips of water and alternating cool rags on her forehead and neck. For some reason her cervix would not dilate completely...just a lip left. They convinced her to try something different and get out of the tub. She didn't want to move as she was in that place where you are so ready to be done, you can't imaging changing positions much less stepping out of a tub and walking a few steps to the bed. We all supported her and after we got her on the bed, the midwife tried holding back the rest of the cervix as she pushed. Even this did not do the job. We convinced her that it might be smart to empty her bladder to see if that was impeding things. She did and eventually she just started pushing with all her might. This was around 9:30-10am or so. She did a great job and by about 10:45am, on her "due date", she pushed out her baby boy. I, of course cried like I always do but her reaction was priceless. She hadn't known the gender and as soon as she saw him, she was crying tears of joy and just telling him how perfect and beautiful he was. He mom was there in tears and I was lucky to get to take a couple pictures of her in those first moments. After about 5 minutes the midwives started to get impatient with her placenta. Why? I do not know. I suggested that she try to nurse her baby to see if that would help bring on the placenta and was shot down by this midwife who told me that they do not have the mother nurse till after the placenta has come out. Hmmm...that's not what EVERY birth book I have says. But whatever, I know my place as a doula and I didn't push it. Then I noticed them pulling on her cord. Eek! After the first couple of tugs, the midwife announced that it was still attached. RRrr. Then a few minutes later, the assistant did the same thing saying that it was still attached and that she didn't feel comfortable pulling on it anymore. duh. I am glad she stopped. Eventually it did come out but then very soon after, I noticed the midwife's tone changed a bit. I heard her order a shot of pitocin and methergine and an herb called hem-halt. I walked past the foot of the bed and saw blood bubbling out of her. D was perfectly at ease and her baby never left her arms. The midwife began manual compressions on her uterus and the shots were given. I had never seen a hemorrhage before but the midwives were working together very efficiently. I just sat in a chair and said a few prayers as that was as much as I could do since I needed to stay out of the way. After 15-20 minutes I guess, it was under control and D was able to eat some apple slices I brought her. She nursed her little boy and all was well. I asked the midwives about why they think she hemorrhaged and they said something about her uterus just being tired but I can't help but think they may have made things worse with all that cord traction. I have since talked to D about it and she said that for her next birth ,she will be adamant that no one is to pull on the cord until it is fully detached and the placenta is coming out on it's own. She was very happy with her birth and would totally use a birth center again.
This was such a great experience for me as a doula because I was doing all I could the whole time she was in labor. I saw how turning off ones brain during labor is not just good for the laboring mom but for the birth partner as well. I think I was just more comfortable being out of a hospital setting and didn't worry about someone telling me not do do something or thinking I was weird for making labor noises with the mom.
Well, this was a long blog post but I wanted to get as much detail in as I could. My bleeding did stop about 4 days later and all is well with my pregnancy.

Births Part 1

2010-12-09T12:36:00.000-08:00

In October I was honored to be a doula at two births. Both of these women were friends of mine and I had offered my services to them. I will first post about the first birth.
I met with M and her husband once or twice to discuss what they wanted from me as a doula and what their birth plans were. M's husband wanted to be the main support person (which I fully support) but they wanted my help mainly at home in early labor as their 1st child's labor was 20 hours long. They wanted to stay at home as long as they could and hoped I would help them there. Well, the weeks leading up to her due date, we just kept in contact since I had to know as far in advance as I could to set up babysitters and just coordinate stuff like that. The week of her due date, she had contractions almost every night but they would slow down or stop when she took a bath or rested. On the morning of her due date, M calls me at about 7:30am and asks what my plans were for the day. I knew what she was saying was that she was in labor. I asked how long it had been going on and noticed that she did not speak during them but was not having to breathe heavy or vocalize yet. I told her I would be right there. I was so excited to go to a birth not in the middle of the night..especially since I was still in the early months of my pregnancy. I got my stuff together, had breakfast and headed out. My car was of course on empty so I stopped for gas. It was a beautiful Sunday morning, there were colors in the sky and Vivaldi was playing on my radio. I got to her house at about 8:15am and no one came to the door. Then I saw the husband running down the street from where he had dropped their older child off. When we went in, he told me she was taking a shower but that things had really progressed since I had talked to her 45 minutes before. e said she was ready to go to the hospital especially since she needed to get antibiotics for group B strep. I asked him for his keys and loaded up their car as he helped her get ready. She came down and had to stop about every 3 minutes to get on her hands and knees for a contraction. Now she was vocalizing through them. She had another on the way to the car. I am sure that car ride was annoying for her as she couldn't get in the position she liked during the contraction and we hit basiclaly every red light. We got to the hospital at 8:50am and they put her in triage. (So funny to me tha tthey have to follow procedure to see if she is far enough along to admit...uh..duh she is contracting every 2-3 minutes and is shaking a bit = transition) After asking her a bazillion questions, they finally get the CNM in there to check her and voila, she is at 8.5cm. I just wanted her to be able to get to the room she was going to be in. She got on the bed but on her hands and knees as this was the most comfortable for her. They got her strapped on to the monitors adn the nurse started her antibiotics. For being so far into labor, I thought she was doing so beautifully. She was able to truly relax between contractions to save her strength. We had only been in the room for about 5 minutes when I noticed that at the end of vocalizing, he added a bit of a grunt. I locked eyes with the nurse and asked if she heard that. She did and called the CNM in again to check M. I think at this point she was 9.5 cm or something. They told her they wanted to wait till the rest of her cervix was gone before she started really pushing. The CNM asked if this(hands and knees) was how she wanted to deliver her baby and M said yes. I was pretty impressed because the only hospital births I had been to the mom was on her back. I was still able to have acces to her back which I had been massaging during each contraction so it seemed to be okay. After about 2 contractions however, the CNM told her it didn't seem to be "working" so she told her to get on her side. I could tell my friend did not really want to change position but did as the CNM told her. Then after switching from left to right to left, she was going to switch again. In the middle of us rolling her, the CNM said,"just stop there" there being on her back. Ahh...I see now. Was this the plan all along? Shortly after that, while doing excellent grunty pushes, the CNm and nurse told her to hold her breath while pushing. I knew that this is not optimal for the baby so I just told M in her ear softly, "you are doing perfect, just push however comes naturally". The other medical personel noticed that she was not listening to them and kept telling her over and over to hold her breath longer. One nurse even said in between pushes for her not to make any noise(grrr). Eventually she was just ready to have her baby out so she started doing as they said. Not surprisingly, the baby's heart began to do little dips after the contractions which are mostly normal but holding ones breath for a long time, does not help baby out in the oxygen department. They put an oxygen mask on her. She still doing so beautifully and looked way better than I did during pushing. I looked at her as told her husband how beautiful she looked having their baby. H looked at her and with tears in his eyes, said she was indeed beautiful and gave her a few kisses. These are the moments I feel so honored to see. So intimate and you could just see the love he had for her.
So , she kept up at the pushing and at about 10:45am, their baby was born. It was fun that they did not know the gender till the birth. Since she was on her back and this baby came out posterior, I got to see his little face first just looking at us. He came out with his hand by his ear and a funny moment was when he was only out to his chest, he was already wailing. He was a very healthy baby boy. I knew she wanted him put directly on her skin so I told the nurse who was preparing the warmer that the baby would be staying on mom. She kept saying she would need to clean him off and I just said that mom was nice and warm and that they can clean him later. As he was coming out, I noticed her gown was still covering her stomach so I pulled it up so her skin would be in contact with her baby. Of course I cried as he came out like I always do. I went to their things and took a couple pictures of them looking at their baby for the first time and then took pictures of the baby when he was at the blasted warmer getting cleaned off. I stayed till breastfeeding was established and then left my friends to bond with their new baby.
I love helping women in labor. They are so vulnerable but really they are their stongest as well. I have a hard time seeing women get pushed around during those intense but vulnerable moments. I feel like women in hospitals can benefit so much from a doula just because of all of the routines that moms may want to avoid but as a doula, it is hard to see those habitual routines done. I am glad I was able to attend my friend though and it is always great to get more experience. M was happy with her birth that makes me feel like I did my job for her.

Belly Pictures

2010-12-07T10:16:00.001-08:00

Here's me at @ 20 weeks with Sophia.

It's a ...

2010-11-29T15:37:00.001-08:00

Fall and Pumpkins!

2010-11-03T18:48:00.000-07:00

I know Halloween is past but it is still fall right? These pictures were from a pumpkin festival we went to a few weeks ago.

Considering Circumcision? Make an Informed decision

2010-09-30T13:28:00.000-07:00

Whatever you may think about this subject right now, wouldn't it be good to have information and actual facts on your side? This is a 20 minute video with a lot of information and I highly recommend people watch it. Especially if you will ever be faced with the decision of whether or not to have it done to your son.

Yes, you are seeing this right

2010-09-13T09:30:00.000-07:00

#3 will be making an appearance late April or early May.

5 Years!

2010-09-10T10:54:00.001-07:00

Today is my and Gary's 5 year anniversary! It seems like so much has happened in such a short time. School, 2 kids, moving, jobs..etc. I am happy as can be to have Gary as my partner. I tell him all the time that he is my favorite person to be with. Here's to many more wonderful years!

Leo in a bucket

2010-09-02T12:35:00.000-07:00

This was a last minute photo shoot by my talented Sister in-law, Leilani. Pretty cute I think...even if Leo wouldn't look at the camera and sit in the bucket at the same time.

Our 1st Family Vacation

2010-08-27T10:59:00.000-07:00

We went to Washington D.C. and Ocean City, MD. We spent the first day in D.C. by ourselves and the second day, our frineds, Jenni and Josh joined us with their 2 kids. Then the 3rd day, we went by the D.C. LDS temple. I will say, seeing that temple pop out amongst the trees is powerful. I did not realize how huge it is. I was very emotional seeing it and knowing what it represented. I am greatful for temples and how even their physical presence makes you think about heaven. The next morning, we woke in Ocean City, MD to have a day of outdoor fun! We went to the beach and then walked the long boardwalk for miles. We ate TONS of junkfood there but justified it with the walking and being on vacation. The next day was more low-key since I was starting to get sick but we went out with my mom's sweet cousins(who hosted us the whole vacay). We got yummy fudge and Gary and I took a ride on a super fast jet ski. We had our last dinner with the family there and the next morning, headed back to Virginia to leave. It was a great vacation and with 2 kids, was just long enough! For all of our pictures, look on my facebook page.

Priorities

2010-08-02T11:26:00.000-07:00

So I just got off the phone with my insurance company and they told me that the Austin Area Birth Center is covered but not a home birth. ***I AM NOT PREGNANT*** I was just doing reseasch on it so that should I become pregnant in the next couple of years, I will know what to expect. It was silly to me because a birth center is not safer than a home birth unless you live too far from a hospital should the need for transfer arise. They do not carry more medicine and unlike what the girl on the phone said, there are not doctors there during births. Emergency c-sections do not happen at birth centers so basically the only thing they have going is that they have doctors at a local hospital who back them up and aren't hostile during a transfer situation.
As far as the title of this post, it just got me thinking... I will have my next baby at home even though I could have a birth center birth covered by insurance. Why?? because of where my priorities fall. It is worth it to me to pay about $3,000 cash to a midwife for the prenatal, birth, and postpartum care they provide. I have talked to people who say that they just could not afford a home birth since it is not covered under their insurance. I am not dogging on anyone why does not have a home birth(most people I interact with) but I do think that as far as not having one because of cost, most people could..it would just have to be a priority to them. We do not have car payments, television, unlimited texts, fancy home furnishings, etc. I do not shop for clothing for our family on a regular basis. I use cloth diapers so I have saved tons on diapering. We are doing our home projects at a slow pace even though I would love to have everything professionally done and have my bathroom completely re-done.
However, when it comes to birth, I will gladly take $3,000 out of our salary or end of year bonus to put aside for my future home birth. For some, the luxuries we forgo are not worth that birth experience and they are fine with the options their insurance company gives them. That is fine but people shouldn't convince themselves that they "can't afford" the birth they want. If you regularly go out to eat for lunch or dinner and your kids have the cutest, trendiest clothes and you have a new decked out car, you could afford a home birth.
I was recently talking to a friend about mothers staying at home. She told me that for some families that is not an option. I agree but the people who fall into that category are a lot fewer than it seems. If you get married and buy a house or condo that depends on two salaries to pay the bills, you have taken that option away from yourself when you decide to start a family. I am grateful for the council we have received to live frugally and on 1 salary. Even if you have not had kids yet, what happens if one of you looses your job? Could you pay your bills? Gary was able to be a full time college student and work sales part time to support us while I stayed at home with Bella. We were not rolling in the dough but it worked. Again with the priorities. I have a friend who lived in apartment instead of buying a house so that she could stay home with her kids. I know not every woman wants to stay at home with their kids and that is fine if that is their choice but I see so many women wishing they could but they put themselves in their own conundrum. It is a good idea not to get used to the D.I.N.K. (dual income no kids) lifestyle as fun as it may be. People may find themselves not willing to give up the luxuries that they have grown accustomed to. Cable TV is a luxury as is eating out on a regular basis. I can totally see how that would be so hard to give up once it has become such a normal part of your life.
I find myself sometimes saying the same kind of excuse as to why I am not doing something I would like to do in my personal or family life. Usually, it just comes down to my priorities. I make time to blog and check my email a bazillion times a day but, I have yet to finish this huge essay I need to submit for my doula coursework. ..duh, Sarah
Anyway, I hope this did not come off preachy. I was just writing what was on my mind and wanted to share. Peace!

"Due Dates"

2010-07-17T10:48:00.000-07:00

Here is a link to a great blog post on due dates. It is called "Poop on Due Dates"

I see such a stark contrast between births where women and their providers are more relaxed about when babies come and ones that expect the baby to come on or before this arbitrary date. I see the stress it causes women and have actually felt this before myself eventhough I have never gone post dates. Read this article, it is full of information and is very accurate.

Induction Seduction

2010-07-15T10:17:00.000-07:00

Of course we all want to be done with pregnancy and meet our little ones, but at what price? I know so many people who have experienced the risks that come with inductions for non-medical purposes. One friend was induced the day or so before her "estimated due date" because she was tired of being pregnant and her mother had come into town. As it turned out, her baby did not descend rapidly enough for the Dr./hospital and she was termed, "Failure to Progress"(talk about doing a number to your body's self confidence! ) Her 8lb. baby was born via c-section and she was then required to stay at the hospital longer. Was it worth it to induce because her mom was in town if she was stuck at the hospital longer recovering from abdominal surgery?
Another friend was induced on her due date(another 1st time mother) and her baby did not react well to the pitocin(which makes contractions longer and harder for both mom and baby). Her doctor performed an "emergency c-section". Problem was that the doctor's choice to induce before the baby was ready caused this emergency in the first place.
If you are pregnant or will be at some point, please take the time to learn about the risks involved with induction and the medical management of birth in general. Knowledge is power and if you don't know your choices, you don't have any.

Here is a great article on inductions. "Let the Baby Decide"

Beautiful Breech Birth

2010-07-11T11:13:00.000-07:00

I just read this birth story. I love how the mother is so calm and even smiling! I guess I don't know what I would do if I had a breech baby but this sure is inspiring and I am glad it went so well for them.

Cousins

2010-07-01T10:14:00.000-07:00

These photos were taken by my sister in law in June of Isabella and her daughter, Sasha.

To see more of her work, go to http://www.photosbylei.com/

Monkey See, Monkey Do..

2010-06-13T16:58:00.000-07:00

Here I am with Leo sometime last Summer and a few days ago, I walk into the bathroom to find Bella "pottying" Curious George. I LOVE IT!

The stuff life is made of

2010-06-09T08:57:00.000-07:00

These are the moments that life is all about: sitting on the back patio with your beautiful kids, eating watermellon, and watching Dad plant a tree.

The stuff babies don't really need but Babies-R-Us says you do

2010-06-06T11:06:00.000-07:00

comic by Heather Cushman-Dowdee of TheCowGoddess.com

Singing in labor

2010-06-01T14:26:00.001-07:00

I have seen this a few times but I don't know if I have ever shared it. This woman is singing during the most intense point of labor and I get chills every time. I do know she did Hypnobabies and obviously used her hypnosis tools very well. Enjoy!

Co-sleeping and marriage

2010-05-13T14:10:00.000-07:00

I have been asked to write a post about co-sleeping/attachment parenting and how it can work and still keep your marriage the priority.

I found attachment parenting as I am sure many people do, just because it was what came naturally to me. Gary and I never intended to ever have a baby in bed with us..after all, that was dangerous and why would you want to have anyone else in the bed?? Well, when Isabella was a few weeks old, I pulled her into bed to nurse and woke up a few hours later feeling so rested! She was happy, I was rested/happy, and in turn Gary was happy. Happy wife = happy husband. I decided that even though I shouldn't let her sleep with me, I needed sleep so I could function and not be so emotionally out of whack. From that moment on, Bella always started out in a bed of her own and upon waking a few hours later, I would bring her into bed with us and just nurse her whenever she woke up. It worked very well for us and when she was 19 months old, I night-weaned her and she stayed in her own bed all night from then on.

I liked the situation we had of her starting out seeping on her own..it gave us a few hours to ourselves for *anything* we might want to do before she woke up. So what I'm saying is that co-sleeping has not had a negative impact on our love life. ;-)

With Leo, I remembered how well I slept once I started letting Bella sleep with us and just nursing whenever she needed it throughout the night so I did the same thing with him from the day he was born. For the first 2 months, he actually just went to bed at the same time as us and started out in our bed and stayed there all night...and slept through the night(sigh of relief!)

When we moved to Texas, we started putting him in a bassinet/crib when he went to bed just as we did with Bella and that is where we still are. About a month ago, I finally started putting him in his room instead of on a mattress next to our bed. The plus of this is that we can actually talk/read/whatever in our room without fear of waking him up. It is just further for this lazy mother to walk when he wakes up at 1am! haha. Eventually, I will try the same things I did with Bella to night-wean him and hopefully he will be sleeping through the night by the holidays!!!

As for other aspects of "Attachment Parenting" and how it is possible to do this without messing with your relationship, I have found it quite easy. I think it depends on your spouse and how "on board" they are with this style of parenting. We tried to have Bella "cry it out" when she was about 5 months old and it was torture for both of us. I think we lasted 15 minutes. Never again. With baby -wearing, Gary loves that he never had to haul around a heavy carseat with Leo in it!

I think most husbands just go along with whatever their wife thinks as far as child-rearing. It helps to have some reasons why you might be going along with something less mainstream if that concerns him. I have read aloud from books to Gary as well as shared my personal feelings of why I wanted to do/not do something. I have explained that I trust my God-given instincts and feel confident in following them in my parenting.

Here is a great article on co-sleeping for more thoughts.

The Review

2010-05-12T20:10:00.000-07:00

We saw "Babies" on Friday and I will be honest that I was expecting more. It did show differences in how babies live in different countries but it was a bit jumpy for me. I wanted to see more of the anthropological differences of a day in the life of that culture as a baby. With the intention to make the film artistic, it quickly jumped from country to country and left little room for more observation. As my husband said, " It was just a bunch of cute babies walking around."
Of course I was hoping more insight into the birth culture of each country but it only alluded to whether the birth was in a hut or a hospital. We got to see a good deal of nursing from the African mother but I didn't get to see much with the other 3 babies. I happen to know that Mongolia is a very breastfeeding- friendly country with the average child weaning at about age 5.
It was cute to see the grooming habits of each culture but again, we saw quick video clips that didn't give us enough time to really get a sense of what it is really like. Same with the babies learning to crawl, walk, etc. It was interesting but didn't satisfy me. I guess I built it up too much maybe.
Overall, I would say, "don't stress if it is not at a theater near you but check it out once it gets to Netflix!"

Babies - the film

2010-05-07T08:16:00.001-07:00

I'm going to see this tonight and I can't wait!
I will review it sometime this weekend.

News report on bed sharing

2010-05-04T18:45:00.000-07:00

It is a bit long but watch the whole thing..very interesting. As somone who has bed shared for a couple of years now, I am glad they talk about how there are factors that make it safe or unsafe.

Awesome VBAC story!!

2010-04-26T11:50:00.000-07:00

So I followed this link from Rixa's blog about great birth stories and am just in awe. I wish women everywhere had access to OBs like this. I hope this will inspire and encourage all my friends who have had a C-section and are not sure if they can have a VBAC. Enjoy!

http://birthingbeautifulideas.com/?page_id=716

Happy Earth Day!!

2010-04-22T10:10:00.000-07:00

Happy Earth Day everybody! How are you celebrating? I remember Earth Day a few years ago. We were in California and I saw a few earth day specials on TV that really impacted me. I saw land fills as well as piles of things Americans go through each year. I saw plastic bags, food containers, and diapers. I was shocked at what the average American household goes through each year. I told Gary that night before we went to bed that I wanted to do something to reduce the amount of waste we were contributing. The next day, I bought some reusable bags at the grocery store.
Lately, it seems more and more people are getting on the "green" wagon. It has become so popular that even my local grocery store has signs in the parking lot reminding people to bring in their reusable bags. I love that they even say, "thank you for bringing your bags" at the checkout; back in Utah, I was a pain in neck to the grocery sackers who would look at me like I was crazy when I would hand them my bags. Changing the type of bag you use at the store is just one small change you can do to make a positive impact on our environment.
Here is a list of things we do or try to do to be more "green"
-Use reusable bags

-Don't use produce bags..you're going to wash them anyway, right?

-Replace some or all of your light bulbs with compact fluorescent ones

-Keep lights off during the day and open your blinds/curtains

-If it is cool/breezy outside, open your windows and turn off the AC

-Teach children to turn off the faucet when they are brushing teeth

-Get a whole bunch or rags or cute wash cloths to use instead of paper towels..you will get used to it, I promise.

-Consider cloth diapering - I have had a great experience with them and have a lot less waste to throw away. Disposables take hundreds of years to decompose.

-Shop at your local Farmers market. You will get food more sustainably grown with less pesticides that took less gas to get to you!

-Recycle!! It may cost you a few dollars a month to participate in a neighborhood pick up program but it is worth it. Since our program will take almost everything that is recyclable, we have only been throwing out about 1 bag of trash a week.

-Reuse...try buying second hand. I have had some great purchases of clothes, books, decor, etc. at the local DI/Goodwill. Also, you could learn the art of re-purposing(I'm working on this awesome skill!)

-Reduce! Consider how much you buy in clothes, toys, individually packaged food items. Maybe you could live with less? Buy food in bulk if you can and try to find stuff with less packaging.

This is an example of things we try to do but I know ther are more..like growing your own veggies or making your own clothes. What are some things you do??

Milk Drunk, a poem

2010-03-14T19:14:00.000-07:00

This is a poem by Danelle of Peaceful Parenting.
I thought it was beautiful and reminds me of my little Leo.

middle of the night
he stirs, but no cry
and roots around for
comfort he knows is nearby

she rolls, turns, asleep
moving. instincts wild -
primal to a mother
at slumber with her child

he latches,eyes yet closed,
and gulps in all her goodness
as baby dreams unfold

tummy fills up full
no muscles are spent
just blissful sweet release
and everyone's content

milk drunk on momma's love!
he falls fast and deep
rolls back over -butstilltouching-
and everyone's asleep.

~ danelle frisbie

Leo's 1st Birthday/ cupcake montage

2010-03-11T06:57:00.000-08:00

Here are pictures from Leo's birthday. I just posted 3 entries with pictures so if you are just on this post, you may be missing out on many other pictures..

And now for the cupcake montage...

MORE PICTURES - Jan-Feb. '10

2010-03-11T06:37:00.000-08:00

This is at the Gazebo/park where Gary and I used to go dancing and where he proposed to me.

This is Bella "posing" outside the San Antonio temple

On the San Antonio Riverwalk

SO many PICTURES!!! - Christmas

2010-03-11T06:29:00.000-08:00

Here are some pictures from Christmas Eve and Christmas morning. I just finally uploaded my pictures.

My baby is 1 !!!!

2010-03-07T19:33:00.001-08:00

So my baby turned 1 today. I can't believe a year already went by. I feel like I was just posting these pictures from his birth and here it has been a year! I refuse to stop thinking of him as my baby..he is just a baby who can walk. He is so cute and has just made our family even better. I love burying my face in his fat little body and inhaling as deep as I can to take in all of his sweetness. His smile melts my heart and his chuckle is so endearing. Leo loves his big sister and I love watching them interact. My labor with him was quite intense but he is completely worth it and I would do it again. I have bonded with him more than I ever thought I would. He is my little man and I jsut love him. I love nursing him, hugging him, and waking up snuggled next to his cute little self every morning. I am sad that his first year is over but I can't wait to hear his voice say new words and for him to communicate with me even more. Happy Birthday to my big little boy!!!

What the Birthing Robot???

2010-02-04T10:38:00.000-08:00

Okay so this is just bizarre. As I watched this, I thought," how in the world is this preparing medical students to attend a woman in labor?" I get that they get to practice sitting at the foot of the bed but are they at all seeing normal birth? First, the robot is silent and lays in the lithotomy position(flat on her back with her legs pulled back) This is the least physiological position to give birth in. They say in the clip that she is just like a real "patient" because she is in the right (bad) position on the table and they even have an IV in her...haha. What about a real woman with real emotions giving labor?? No wonder the majority of the medical world does not think of laboring women as real people. As I watch the robot give birth, it is like she is of no consequence..just a body from which to extract a baby. Is this how your local hospital sees you? This does not train medical professionals how to work with a woman who does NOT want an IV or to be on her back. This robot can not give birth in any other position than this. SO what do you think this medical student will do when his first real laboring mother wants to be on her hands and knees on top of the bed? It will blow his/her mind! That is..if it is even allowed. I am saddened to see so much perpetuation of the passive laboring and birthing mother. I don't even like hearing that a Dr. "delivered" someone's baby...the MOTHER is the one birthing the baby for goodness sake. I also noticed that this robot must be numb waist down because he says..as the head is coming out.."a little pressure." hahahahaha What will this new Dr. do when a woman is feeling that head come out...hopefully they will not say,"a little pressure.." Okay, just watch this yourself and be amused by it.

January in the Park

2010-02-03T10:10:00.000-08:00

My friend Kiwe took these pictures last week at a local park. It has since gotten colder but I can't wait till the weather is perfect again. Thank you Kiwe for the visit and the pictures!

Family Photos

2010-01-25T08:38:00.000-08:00

This is a picture from New Year's Day of us and some of Gary's siblings..his younger brother is on a church mission. Check out my little model...I did not tell her to pose like that but I LOVE it!

Gary's sister took our pictures. You can see more of her stuff at www.photosbylei.com

Circumcise your daughter?

2010-01-05T13:44:00.000-08:00

I saw this blog post on http://www.womanuncensored.blogspot.com/ and just had to re post it. I have been thinking of writing something like this for a while but have been a little intimidated. Call me lazy I guess but she took the words right out of my mouth. Try to have an open mind when thinking about this subject and really think..are our boy's bodies less important than our girl's?

I was talking with a guy friend of mine who'd recently had his first child: a perfect baby girl. He chatted happily about the joys of being a new parent, and then mentioned an upcoming appointment. "Oh, just a usual checkup?" I asked casually. "No, its time for her snip-snip" he replied, equally casually. I was confused. "You know, her circumcision of course", my friend clarified. Oh, right... that. I asked how he and his wife had come to the decision to have the procedure done on their daughter. Now it was my friend's turn to look confused. "Well, everyone does it, don't they?". "Far from it, actually." I replied. "But I'm interested in your reasons, so go on". And he did. He talked about how he wanted his daughter's genitals to look like his wife's, so she wouldn't be confused later in life. At this point, I wondered if he also intended to get his daughter a nose job, boob job, etc. He mentioned not wanting her to be teased in the locker room someday. I stopped him. "Wait, was she born with a deformity?". He said of course not, but that an un-cut vagina was just funny looking. Then he went on about how dirty they are, and being cut makes them cleaner. He said little girls don't know how to wash themselves anyway, and it would be gross. He said her husband would be glad for it someday as well. I stopped him there too. Would her husband also be glad that his wife felt less pleasure? My friend was confused about that. In his mind, removing parts of his daughter's genitals didn't mean she'd experience less pleasure. Right, how silly of me to think that. I had a million more things to say and ask, but I tried to stay civil.This conversation was clearly becoming strained and painful for both of us, but he felt the need to defend his decision further. My friend then told me about how so many women get yeast infections, UTI's, and such, and that the circumcision might prevent that, and maybe even lessen her risks of some STD's too. I'd seen these supposed studies, and also the ones that debunked them. I guess he'd missed those, and also missed the fact that not a single medical association in the world promotes this "procedure". It was obvious he was doing something he thought was good for his child. I just looked at him, baffled. He then stammered on about how he was the parent and he had every right to make this decision for his child. Everyone else in his family had done it, and they were "fine" and "happy" with it. My mind was reeling with questions and anger. Did he really believe that all baby girls were born defective? Should they have to undergo cosmetic surgery to have "prettier" and "cleaner" genitals? Was it really that hard for a child or any person to spend a few seconds washing down there? Certainly washing one's hair takes more time, but we all seem to manage that. How could he look at his perfect little girl and think that something on her was so disgusting and ugly that it had to be cut off? How could he think that it was "normal" and that "everyone does it"? How could he put her through the risks of a surgery for such stupid reasons? He even thinks that removing her parts would prevent infections and diseases. Following that logic, we should remove ALL teeth because they *might* get cavities, breasts because they *might* get cancer, and well... EVERY other part of the body because they may become infected or diseased some day. What odd reasoning. Certainly there are better ways to prevent and deal with such things. We do it for every other part of the body, why not the genitals? And why would he assume he has the right to make such a decision for his child? Her genitals were posing no immediate risk to her, so didn't she have a right to her own healthy body parts? Isn't it HER body? Aren't we supposedly all about "rights" and "choices" in America? Where were his daughter's rights and choices? He was going to walk right into that doctors office and pay to have his child's most sensitive parts mutilated. I felt sick to my stomach and just left him with a half-hearted excuse about needing to get home.You may be sitting there, SHOCKED at how something like this could happen in America. You may think this isn't even true. The truth is, the healthy genitals of non-consenting minors are cut apart every single day, and many people don't even think twice about it. Many people defend the decision to do so with every fiber of their being. Many people even have it done to their child without really even knowing WHY. They don't even think twice about it. I've encountered numerous people who feel just like "my friend" in this story, and use the very same reasons that he did. The one thing I lied about is the child's gender. When this story is told about a baby girl, most people would be HORRIFIED and would want to see the parents imprisoned for mutilating their child. However, when we talk about a baby boy, suddenly it is a parent's "choice", and supposedly a valid and legal one at that. WHY? Why do we protect our baby girls like mother bears, but throw our sons under the knife every day? Because his penis is ugly? Because it is dirty? Because it is different from his father's? Because it *might* become infected someday? Because his wife will be glad? Because its what everyone else does? Because its "no big deal and it does'nt hurt anyway"? Because its "just a useless piece of skin anyway"? Wrong. Just like every part of the female genitalia has purpose, function, and sensation, so does the male foreskin. Most of the world, in fact, and now about half of Americans. Those who DO have circumcisions performed on their sons, operate under the assumption that it is just the normal thing to do. It is not. It was, for a very short time, considered "normal" in a few parts of the world. It was promoted heavily during the times that masturbation was seen as dirty and even dangerous to the body and mind. Doctors...the finest medical minds of the times truly believed circumcision would cure blindness, insanity, bed-wetting, and all sorts of other medical problems. As those myths were debunked, they tried coming up with other "reasons" to mutilate our boys. Myths sprung up like weeds. Its time for the insanity to stop. Its time for the sexism to end. In a time where we've fought for the rights of minorities, children, and women, we've left one portion of our population out. We've trampled on the human rights of our baby boys, and we've done it holding our heads high and justifying ourselves.

http://www.nocirc.org/

http://www.doctorsopposingcircumcision.org/

http://www.mothersagainstcirc.org/

http://www.intactamerica.org/

Breasts...disgusting or not?

2009-12-18T14:37:00.000-08:00

So, the picture on top is currently accepted by facebook and the general public but...the vulgar one on the bottom(sarcasm) was removed by facebook and goodness gracious..will that woman cover up already!!!..you can see her child nursing!!!
Why America??? I mean when I saw this first picture , I couldn't believe this person had no problem showing it..she even got comments about how great her boobies are. I would love to get a group of women to go to the mall, sit in front of Victoria's Secret with the larger than life models in lingere and nurse right by the pictures. I wonder what people would be complaining more about. Well, just thought I'd post this to get other people's wheels turning.

After..so far..

2009-12-13T18:02:00.000-08:00

Leo at 9 months Bella and Leo

Our bedroom..not a great pic though

Our bedroom/Leo's bed
The front of our house this morning

View of Kitchen from Living Room Living Room
Bella's very green room..not finished with this one yet..
Leo's room (one day) I am going to attempt a Montessori room

Kids/ guest bathroom

Office
Office
Kitchen

Kitchen Master Bathroom
Master Bathroom

All the baby mamas

2009-12-08T14:02:00.000-08:00

Using Water for Labor and Birth

2009-11-30T20:17:00.000-08:00

New House (before pics)

2009-10-22T13:44:00.001-07:00

Here is our new house! We closed a week ago and have been working since on getting it move-in ready. The guy was not only a smoker but did not really clean it before he moved. So...we are deep cleaning and painting every surface we can. I hope this will make the house feel like new next week when we move in. Here are the before pictures. So far we have painted Bella's room green and we've started on the living room which is "light tan"...Nacho Libre anyone?? I am thinking taupe for our room and maybe brown for the office. Also I think we're going to try a red accent wall where the fireplace is. Okay, more updates to come!

Isabella is 3 !!!

2009-09-22T09:18:00.000-07:00

Just 3 years ago, I had this wonderful, beautiful little girl. Now she is talking, running, dancing, coloring, and most recently: tricycling! She has brought me so much joy and I have become the parent that I am today because of her. It is sad for me to think that she is no longer a baby and that she will only get bigger but I love the person she is. Happy Birthday, Isabella!

Car Seat Safety

2009-09-10T09:59:00.001-07:00

About two years ago I learned that about 90% of car seats are not installed properly. I was not immune to this. Luckily, my friend Joy spoke up and offered to help me with my car seat..to get it installed properly. She showed me how to use the metal locking clip and to get the seat so secure that it barely moved at all. I had just been buckling Bella's infant seat into the car. She told me that the seat should not move more that 1 inch in any direction. All I needed was to be shown once how to do it properly and from that point on, she was much more safe. As I have come across cars in parking lots and seen friend's children in their car seats, I can see that it is a vast majority of us that do not know how to properly harness a child into a seat and how to properly install that seat into a car. I wish they would teach all parents this as we leave the hospital/birthing center..etc. We all want our children to be as safe as possible but sometimes those manuals are not very clear. Hopefully these frequently asked questions will help.

Car Seat FAQ's

What is the purpose of a car seat?
Car seats serve the same purpose that a seat belt does for an older child or adult. Car seats prevent ejection from the vehicle. If a person, whether that be an adult or a child, is ejected from the vehicle, they are 4 times more likely to die. Car seats also spread the forces of the impact over the strongest parts of a child's body. Car seats provide a "ride-down" effect and prevent the child from contacting hard surfaces inside the vehicle. If a car seat isn't used to the exact manufacturer's instructions, it cannot properly do its job!
How tight should my car seat be installed?
Your child's seat should move 1" or less when tugged at the belt path (the part of the seat where you run the seat belt through). The tighter the better. Why? For every inch you can move your child's seat, it will move 3 to 6 inches in a crash. A loose installation will cause your child's head and/or body to hit something in the vehicle, causing severe head, neck, and/or internal injuries. Put your knee into the seat and push down with your body weight as you pull on the seat belt to help insure a tight fit.
How tight should the harness straps be?
The harness straps should fit snugly. When properly adjusted, you should be able to fit no more than 1 finger between the harness straps and the child's collarbone. Men should use their pinky finger to test and women should use their index finger. Another way to check is if you can pinch webbing in an up - down direction near the shoulder, the straps are too loose. Why is it so important to have the harness straps snugly adjusted?
If the harness straps are too loose, one of three things is likely to happen.
The child may be ejected from the seat.
The child's body may contact something inside the vehicle causing severe injuries.
The child's body may slam into the harness straps causing internal injuries. If there is slack in the straps, the child will be thrown int

o the straps at the speed at which the crash occurred.
Click here to see correct harness use.

This shows TOO MUCH slack in the harness and is not safe

What is the purpose of the harness retainer clip (chest clip), and where should it be placed?
The chest clip is a pre-crash positioner and is designed to either break away or slide down in a crash. Its job is to keep the harness straps on the shoulders. It needs to be placed at armpit level.

This is a properly harnessed infant; note the chest clip position and snug fit

Which harness slot should I use?
Rear-facing seats - the harness slot used should be at or below the shoulders. Why? In a crash a rear-facing seat is designed to move backwards (or towards the impact/front of the vehicle). As the seat moves backwards, the child's body moves up towards the top of the seat. As the child moves up, the harness straps catch the child's shoulders and pull him back into the seat. If the straps are above the shoulders, the child could be ejected out the top.
Forward-facing seats - the harness slot should be at or above the shoulders. Why? In a crash the child's body is thrown towards the impact of the crash and the shoulders roll forward and downward. The straps catch the child and keep him in the seat. If the straps are below the shoulders, the downward movement of shoulders will be exaggerated. This could allow the child to contact something inside the vehicle or cause the child to be ejected.
**Important - unless your manual specifies otherwise, use the top slots only on convertible car seats that are facing forward. This is the only slot that is reinforced to withstand the crash forces. Using an unreinforced slot may cause the seat back to break, ejecting the child.
Note - this applies only to convertible seats that are used forward facing. Click here to see what happens when the wrong slots are used.
How can I tell if my car seat is outgrown?
A rear-facing seat is outgrown when 1. the child has reached the maximum weight of the car seat and/or 2. the top of the child's head is within 1" of the top of the shell on the car seat (push down on the padding and measure against the shell). Height guidelines are required by law and give the parent an estimate of how tall the child will be when he/she outgrows the seat. Keep in mind that a child who is all legs will be able to use a seat rear facing longer than a child who has a longer torso. If your child has outgrown the infant seat but is not yet ONE YEAR AND 20 POUNDS, then use a convertible car seat. The longer you can keep the child rear-facing, the safer he will be. Visit CPSafety to learn more about the benefits of extended rear facing.
A forward-facing seat is outgrown when one of the following conditions occurs: 1. the child reaches the maximum weight of the seat, 2. the harness straps are located below the child's shoulders, 3. the tips of the child's ears are above the top of the car seat.
**Important - Strictly adhere to all weight restrictions. A seat holding a child too heavy will fail in a crash.
I'm concerned because my rear-facing baby's feet touch the back seat. It looks so uncomfortable. Is this safe?
Yes, this is not a safety hazard. They are no documented reports of children breaking their legs in a crash. However, there are countless reports of children with spine and neck injuries from being turned forward facing too early. In a crash, a rear-facing child's legs will be thrown up and back away from the vehicle's seat. Please also note that children are not built like adults. They are very flexible and do not find riding this way uncomfortable.
My rear facing baby's head falls forward. Should I do anything to help?
It is very important to have your rear-facing seat reclined to an angle of about 45 degrees. This will keep her head from rolling forward. A head that is rolled forward can restrict or cut off the airway causing suffocation. Also, if the head is forward and off the back of the car seat, in a crash the baby's delicate head will be slammed down against the seat. If you are having trouble achieving the appropriate angle, use a rolled up towel or foam pool noodle under the front of your restraint (place the towel in the crease of the vehicle seat). An older baby (6 months or older) can have less of a recline (more towards 30 or 35 degrees). NEVER recline the seat more than 45 degrees. In a crash it will rotate down and the baby could slide out of the seat.
When can I turn my child forward-facing?
A baby needs to be both 20 LBS AND 1 YEAR old before being turned forward facing. They need to meet both of these conditions. The longer you can keep a child rear-facing, the safer they will be. A common mistake parents make is turning their child around too early because they can sit up, crawl, walk, etc. The guidelines for turning a child around have nothing to do with muscular strength. It is based on skeletal strength. A 9 mo. old baby who can sit, crawl, walk has the same skeletal strength as a 9 mo. who can do none of these things.

This is a 10 month old Forward Facing = NOT safe

Why is rear-facing so much safer?
Rear-facing is the safest way to travel in a vehicle. In a crash, the child moves as one unit with the car seat. The head, neck, and spine are held in the car seat and move with the force of the crash, not against it. In a forward facing seat, the torso is kept in the seat, but the head isn't and is violently thrown forward. A baby's head is very heavy and the neck is fragile. The neck cannot withstand the violent force of being thrown forward. The baby's unoccified bones can separate during the crash and the spinal cord can rip. It's the same thing as ripping an electrical plug out of the wall by the cord and breaking the wires. Please visit CPSafety for more in-depth information on rear-facing and why it is safest. Scroll down to the end of the site to see crash test videos showing the difference between forward-facing and rear-facing seats. Check out CPSafety's rear-facing album to see pictures of children riding rear-facing well past their first birthday.
Here are two more very good resources on why rear facing is so much safer:
Child Safety Seats: Rear-Face Until at Least One Year
Car-safety.org rear-facing page
Why does the handle on my infant car seat have to be placed in the down position when installed?
The handle needs to be placed down for 2 reasons. In a crash the car seat will move towards the front of the vehicle/impact and then rebound (move upward towards the vehicle seat). As the seat rebounds, the handle may strike the interior of the vehicle and break becoming a projectile. It could hit a passenger and cause serious injury. Secondly, the baby may hit his head on the handle.
Which car seat is the safest?
The safest seat is one that fits your child, fits your vehicle, and one that you will use correctly each and every time. Car seats with a 5 pt. harness offer the best protection (visit CPSafety to learn why). Car-Safety.Org has a great guide to buying a carseat.
Where in my vehicle should I install my car seat?
The best location for your car seat is in the middle of the backseat. If you can't get a good fit there (the seat moves less than 1" when tugged at the belt path) then either outboard position in the back is safe. Children under the age of 13 should always ride in the back seat. NEVER put a rear-facing seat in front of an airbag.
Why can't I put my rear-facing seat in front of an airbag?
Putting a rear facing seat in-front of an airbag places the baby in serious danger. An airbag explodes with a force up to 200 pounds. When the bag inflates, it strikes the back of the car seat hard enough to break the plastic shell. This is usually the fatal blow. The airbag then slams the car seat into the back of the seat of the vehicle. If a child managed to survive this blow, he would suffer permanent brain damage.
What is a locking clip and do I need to use it?
A locking clip is an H shaped piece of metal and is used to keep the seat belt tight. A locking clip is needed when your seat belt system does not lock. It is very important to install the locking clip no more than 1" away from the seat belt buckle. Click here for more information regarding locking clips.
What is a tether strap?
A tether strap is a strap made of seat belt material that is attached to the back of the child restraint. It has a hook on the end that attaches to a tether anchor in your vehicle. The purpose of the tether strap is to reduce head excursion (the distance your child's head moves forward in a crash). Current standards do not mandate the use of the tether strap, however, it is an additional safety measure that should be used if possible. Consult your vehicle's manual to see if your vehicle is equipped with tether anchors. Any vehicle manufactured after Sept. 2002 is required to have anchors for tethering. Many vehicles manufactured after 1989 can be retrofitted with tether anchors. This is relatively easy and can be done yourself. The vehicle manual may have installation instructions. Contact your dealer for part information.
What is LATCH?
LATCH stand for Lower Anchors and Tethers for Children. It was designed to make the installation of a car seat easier. Please visit car-safety.org for more in-depth information on the LATCH system.
Where can I find a Certified Child Passenger Safety Technician?
Please visit one of the following sites to find a technician who is local to you:
National Highway Traffic Safety Administration Child Seat Inspection Stations
Seat Check.org

Check All Winter Coats for Car Seat Safety

It's easy to check and see whether a baby's winter coat or infant snowsuit is too thick to be safe in a car seat. This test will show you how thick the coat is and how much the coat will compress during a crash.

Take the car seat into the house.
Put the winter coat or snowsuit on the child.
Put the child in the car seat and buckle the harnesses as you normally would before car travel. Adjust the straps to the appropriate fit for your child.
Take the child out of the car seat without loosening the straps at all.
Take the coat off your child.
Put the child back in the car seat and buckle the harnesses again, but do not tighten the straps.
If you can fit more than two fingers under the harness at the child's shoulder bone, the coat is too thick and is not safe for use with the car seat.

Here is a child in a coat that is too fluffy to go under the harness..it would not pass the test

A Note on Car Seat Covers

Many companies also offer thick car seat covers that act like a bunting for babies in the winter. Parents should avoid buying any car seat cover or car seat bunting that threads through the harness straps of their child's car seat. Often the packaging of these covers states that the product meets all federal car seat safety guidelines. However, there are no federal guidelines governing after-market car seat accessories. These extra car seat covers and buntings could interfere with the function of the car seat harness, and many car seat manufacturers will void your car seat warranty if after-market accessories are used.

Our Anniversary

2009-09-10T07:14:00.000-07:00

Today is our 4 year Anniversary. I am still so in love with Gary and I am so happy with the life we have made together. We have traveled, brought 2 children into the world, and have gone from student life to a full time job in Texas. Gary is such a great partner. He still makes me laugh everyday and I never get tired of him. I am lucky that I have a man sensitive enough to truly listen to me as I research health and birth. He supported me in nursing Bella for 2 years, co-sleeping, cloth diapering, gentle parenting, Leo's home birth, not circumcising, researching vaccines, and many other things that society has a hard time supporting. He has worked hard so that I could stay home with our children and that is such a blessing to me. He has supported me in all of my church callings and magnifies his own. He is the one I still want to go through eternity with at my side. I love him! (I know this is a lot of Gary praise but hey, it is our anniversary and I feel it is okay to boast a little just today ;-)

Fun with Family

2009-08-31T10:00:00.000-07:00

Here are some pictures from our trip to Dallas a few weeks ago. We visited Gary's aunt, uncle, and cousins there.

Birth

2009-08-12T11:58:00.000-07:00

This is a beautiful video montage of women experiencing birth. Women ARE strong and capable and beautiful.

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High School Reunion

2009-08-10T10:43:00.000-07:00

Here are a few pictures from a reunion Gary and I went to last month as well as some pictures of Leo that were taken about 2 weeks ago. Photos by: Leilani Rogers (www.photosbylei.com )

Our Alaskan Commercial

2009-08-02T20:23:00.000-07:00

Here was a commercial we were in that is for a cell phone company in Alaska. Apparently it is all over the cable stations there.

Strawberry freezer jam

2009-07-30T17:32:00.000-07:00

So I have been wanting to learn how to make freezer jam for years now. I had it a couple of times while we were living in Utah and I LOVED the stuff! Since Costco had organic strawberries for $6.99, I decided to use the whole 4 lbs and make my own jam. It was actually SO easy! The directions are included in the fruit pectin box. I am excited to use my own and save on buying jam. The whole box of strawberries made 5.5 containers...roughly 10 cups. You should all come over to my house for toast and jam!

My thoughts on Cloth Diapering

2009-07-06T12:43:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine asked me to do some blog posts on cloth diapering and what my experience has been with it.

So..here is some information I have compiled on cloth diapering as well as my own personal experiences.

Cloth diapers are better for the environment.
Here are a few of the reasons why:

Eighteen billion disposable diapers are placed in landfills each year. They take as long as 500 years to decompose.

Disposable diapers make up the third-largest source of solid waste in landfills, after newspapers and food/beverage containers.

It takes more than 82,000 tons of plastic and 1.3 million tons of wood pulp (a quarter of a million tress) to manufacture the disposables that cover all the babies in the United States right now.

The wastewater produced from washing diapers is benign, while the wastewater from the manufacture of the pulp, paper, and plastics used in disposable diapers is toxic, containing dioxins, solvents, sludge, and heavy metals.

The Landbank Report, an independent review and evaluation done by a London environmental agency, concluded that compared with cloth diapers, throwaway diapers use 20 times more raw materials, three times more energy, two times more water, and generate 60 times more waste (The Landbank Consultancy Limited, “A Review of Proctor & Gamble’s Environmental Balances for Disposable and Re-usable Nappies,” July 1991).
Damage to the environment by using disposable diapers is only one factor in your choices about diapers.

Another factor is the health and comfort of your baby.
Consider these points:

Superabasorbent disposable diapers contain a substance called sodium
polyacrylate that absorbs up to 100 times its weight in water. When you change a
baby that has worn one of these diapers, you may notice clear beads of this gel
on her genitals and bottom. No studies have been conducted on the effects of
sodium polyacrylate on infants, many of whom are exposed to it 24 hours a day
for years. Dioxin, a toxic by-product of the paper bleaching process used in
making disposable diapers, is present in them.

Recent research has indicated that disposables may be a trigger for asthma, due to the release of chemical fumes. No similar response occurred in the cloth diapers tested.

A German study found a possible link between plastic diapers and male
infertility. Further studies are needed to see if these effects are long term.

Disposable diapers seem to cause more skin problems in babies. Cotton
seems to “breathe” better. Disposables are so well sealed that a baby can go for
hours without a leak—but that same seal gives bacteria a fabulous breeding
ground as well, and the ammonia that develops in the bacterial breakdown of
urine has nowhere to go. Babies in cloth diapers tend to be changed more
frequently, whereas the sense of dryness that disposable diaper gives may cause
the parents to leave it on the baby for hours.

There are other advantages to using cloth diapers as well. One of these is cost. Disposable diapers cost between 14 and 32 cents per use. Cloth diapers can cost as little as 5 cents per use, if you wash them yourself, or between 8 and 15 cents per use if you use a service.

As well, experts tend to agree that toddlers who use cloth diapers potty-train earlier. There is a very good reason for this. Children who wear disposable cannot feel the dampness of their diapers. There is simply no incentive to learn to use the toilet.
Here is a great article from Mothering magazine on cloth diapering.
It is called, "Dumping Disposable Diapers"

p.s. - the formatting on that last paragraph is off, I know...couldn't fix it. ;-P

What I have used:

2009-07-06T12:16:00.000-07:00

Here are the covers I use if I am using a prefold. They are called Thirsties covers. They work GREAT and we rarely have leaks. I also love all the colors they come in.

These are prefold diapers. You can get the chinese or indian variety. I have some indian ones and find that they are much softer..though I loved my chinese ones just fine. These require the most "learning." Once you figure out the best way to fold them onto your baby, I recommend using a "snappi" fastener. Snappis have replaced pins...no one gets poked anymore! Snappis look like a "T" with plastic teeth that hold the diaper snugly around the baby and then you put the cover over the prefold to keep everything dry. These are the most economical at $1-2 each. I used these the most when Leo was very small.

This "pocket" diaper is the Pocket Change brand. I have one that I bought to try out. The pros are that the medium size will fit most babies for a long time. I think it works
from @ 10lbs - 20-something lbs. as Leo is 20lbs and still fits in it. It is very trim for a cloth diaper and when you buy it, it comes with 2 inserts: a regular micro terry one and a hemp doubler for naps or night time. They use plastic snaps around the waist which many people like because it won't wear out like velcro eventually will. The other great thing about this diaper is that even though you still need to "stuff" it with the insert, there are openings on the front AND back and there is no need to "unstuff" the diaper after it is soiled. The insert agitates out in the wash all by itself! These diapers are about $18 each, including the inserts.

This is probably my favorite cloth diaper. It is the Bum Genius one sized pocket diaper. This diaper will fit an 8lb. baby and up through potty training. This picture shows one on the smallest setting. They use snaps to provide 3 size settings in the rise and the velcro tabs allow you to get the snuggest fit around your child's waist. It comes with 2 inserts ; an infant one and a full size one that also has snaps to shorten the length. Honestly, on the smallest setting, they are a bit bulky on a newborn but I started using these on Leo when he was 1 month old and they fit just great! They have really tight leg and waist gussets so I NEVER get "blowouts" with these diapers. I used disposables on Bella till she was about a year old and when she was little, I can't even count how many times we would have to change her because of a blowout. It also used to ruin a lot of her clothes because of that. These diapers are about $18 each as well but since you can use then through potty training, it is well worth the money. If you take good care of them, you can even use them for more than 1 child, saving even more money. Leo is using Bum Genius' that I bought for Isabella. These are very absorbent...probably the most of any diaper I have tried, and at night I just add an infant prefold to the regular liner and he stays dry for almost 12 hours! I have also found that these are not intimidating to dads, grandparents, babysitters...etc. They go on and off just like a disposable.

My favorite place to buy my diapers online has been from Nickis Diapers. http://www.nickisdiapers.com/ They do not charge any shipping on pocket diaper and since those seem to be my favorite, that is great for me!

http://www.cottonbabies.com/ is also a great site for cloth diapers and accessories.

What are your experiences with cloth diapering and what are some diapers that you love???

What is a Doula?

2009-07-05T20:26:00.000-07:00

If you don't already know, I am a birth doula and as soon as Leo is a bit older, I hope to get more regular clients. I saw this video and think it does a good job explaining to people who may not know, what a doula is.

Breech Birth in Canada

2009-06-18T07:25:00.000-07:00

Here is a link to a blog I read about Canada's new policies on breech births. Dr.s are now encouraged not to automatically do a c-section for breech presentation. Let's see if ACOG pays attention.

A letter from a friend

2009-06-16T12:54:00.000-07:00

I feel strongly that I should post a letter I received from a friend last month. I had no idea that by my puttng information about circumcision on my blog last year would cause anyone to further investigate it and re-consider their opinions on the matter. It was a bit scary for me at the time because like I said in my original post, it was not meant to offend but to inform. I am even now scared that I will make friends of mine who have already made these decions feel bad or like I am judging them. I talked to my friend who wrote this letter and she felt good about me posting her letter here. she has a personal experience of having 2 sons and choosing differently for them. We do the best we can with what we know. When we know better, we choose better.
(The names have been changed in her email to me.)

Dear Sarah,

I have been meaning for a long time to thank you for posting about circumcision last year. I never felt right about Ben's circumcision, but Dave felt strongly about having it done (though not because he thought it was still a commandment, for he was aware it isn't, but for other reasons), and in my (inadequate) research, I didn't find any reasons why it should or shouldn't be done--just that it wasn't necessary, so I let Dave make the decision. After I saw the wound and the time it took to heal, I told Dave I didn't think I could handle any more of our sons being circumcised. After I read the article you posted and I realized how I had bought into some drastically false myths (e.g., that infants under 10 days do not feel much pain during circumcision), I became even more firm in my resolve not to circumcise any more of my sons. I shared the article with Dave, and though he isn't yet as opposed to circumcision as I have become, he supported me fully in my decision not to have Matt circumcised.

Thank you for being brave and posting that information. I only wish you had come across it sooner and shared it sooner, or that my own research had been more thorough. My mom was really concerned about my decision not to circumcise Matt for Matt's sake, since he would be different from his dad and brother. However, I couldn't justify putting Matt through the trauma of circumcision just so he would "look like everyone else." I am much more concerned for Ben's sake, that he might resent me for making that irrevocable decision for him, that he might feel like less of a man, and/or that he'll mistakenly think that I think he is less of a man because he was circumcised, knowing that I am against it now. What will I say to him when he asks why he and his brothers are different? When will I be able to ask his forgiveness? I don't have many regrets in life, but having Ben circumcised is one of them.

Feel free to share my experience, without using real names or identifying information, with those you teach. It may prevent someone else from making the same mistake I made. You are doing a great work, Sarah. Though I may not agree with all your opinions, I appreciate them.

Thank you,

Your Friend
Here is the link to my post last year

http://slightlycrunchymama.blogspot.com/2008/06/some-information.html

New Pictures

2009-06-13T12:26:00.000-07:00

Here are some pictures I have taken since we have been in Austin. More blog posts to come soon...

11 weeks

2009-05-23T11:38:00.001-07:00

It has been a long time since I have updated..sorry. We just moved to Austin 2 weeks ago and we rarely get internet connection. Well, Leo sure has porked out, weighing in at 17lbs at 11 weeks old! He is a very sweet baby and still so much easier than I remember Bella being. He does like to be held a good deal but that is okay since I have a plethora of baby carriers. I found that using the Moby Wrap in Texas is a little too hot so I am glad that he likes the pouch sling. He is a great sleeper I think. I do not expect him to go all night without nursing but since he sleeps right next to me, I never fully wake up to nurse him and he only nurses a couple of minutes till he is satisfied. Isabella just LOVES him! She has shown no ounce of jealousy or anger toward him. She loves to talk to him, "hold" him, and yesterday she read a book to him in the car because he was crying. When he stopped crying, she said, " Mommy, I helped Leo stop crying because I read him a book!" I am still trying to aquire friends in Austin. I am very grateful to my wonderful sister in-law who has let me hang out with her a lot. I am wanting to go to a La Leche League meeting to meet people but the last one I tried going to was not at the location I thought and I missed it. I know I will eventually have a solid group of friends, but I guess I am just impatient and missing my "mommy support" back in Provo. I have wanted to link some great articles and blog posts to my blog lately but I wanted to wait till I got a picture and update posted. Well....CIAO!!!!

A Beautiful Moment

2009-04-19T09:46:00.001-07:00

It is Saturday the 18th of April. It is Sunny and just warm enough. We are at Temple Square and the air smells sweet of flowers..especially the lilacs. We take pictures of our beautiful children sitting by the flowers. We enter the Joseph Smith Memorial Building with its grandeur and polished decor. I sit on a comfy chair to take it all in. Friend-Bart Allen plays the piano so beautifully, it already feels like heaven. My dear companion and husband begins to play his violin with the piano. The two instruments weave together such beautiful music and because it is all by ear, it goes in directions that are inspired by the musicians. I hear a familiar tune...it is "O My Father." I see my beautiful daughter in the middle of the foyer start to dance. She tells me she is doing ballet. She is beautiful. I hold my nursing infant in my arms and look at his peaceful, dreamy face. I look at my husband. He is so beautiful to me. I close my eyes and think of the lyrics to the music they are playing:

O My Father thou that dwellest in the high and glorious place,
When shall I regain thy presence and again behold thy face?
In thy holy habitation, did my spirit once reside?
In my first primeval childhood, was I nurtured by thy side?

For a wise and glorious purpose Thou hast placed me here on earth
and withheld the recollection of my former friends and birth;
Yet oft-times a secret something whispered,"You're a stranger here,"
and I felt that I had wandered from a more exalted sphere.

I had learned to call Thee Father, through thy Spirit from on high,
But until the key of knowledge was restored, I knew not why.
In the heavens are parents single? No, the thought makes reason stare!
Truth is reason; truth eternal tells me I've a mother there.

When I leave this frail existence, when I lay this mortal by,
Father, Mother, may I meet you in your royal courts on high?
Then at length, when I've completed all you sent me forth to do,
With your mutual approbation let me come and dwell with you.

I take it in; it is a BEAUTIFUL moment.

1 Month

2009-04-08T08:07:00.000-07:00

Here are pictures from over the last month..honestly I have not taken that many. I was waiting till his baby acne went away..haha...it is still on his nose but I figured I would update my blog nevertheless. Well, it started out VERY easy..all he did was sleep. He slept all day and to my surprise, all night. Then my mother came out which made life even easier as she basically took care of Isabella for a week. Around 3 weeks, Leo started becoming more alert during the day which I guess was better than just sleeping. He follows our faces and our voice if we move to different parts of the room. He startles very easy which is kind of funny. He is a heavy wetter so I change diapers a lot..even more since I use cloth diapers. Gary has started calling him "cub" and Bella has taken to it as well.
As for how it is on me having 2 children: Now that Leo is awake more, I often find myself nursing on the couch and just helplessly watching as my house is taken over by a two-year old and the messes that come with that. I have at least 2 times per day when both of them are crying and it pretty much drives me insane. Leo, like Bella but not as much, likes to be held and cries if I put him down. Luckily this time I have an assortment of baby carriers that help me out. However, by the end of the day my back is very sore from holding him and nursing him...but I don't want to complain too much. He is still much easier than Isabella ever was.
Isabella has done so great in the role of "Big Sister." She loves to kiss Leo and hold him. She will get things for me like diapers and my phone if it is ringing and I am in the other room. She has become such a big girl overnight. She feels like she weighs a ton now after holding a newborn(how did I carry her 9 months pregnant?!) She can get herself in her car seat all by herself, she can get water and food for herself if she needs to, and she has gotten more into imagination play which I love.
Sometimes I just do not know how mothers do it with more than 1 child though. The few times I have gone to the store with both of them have not been my favorite thing in the world. I will put Leo in the wrap and Bella in the cart but just lifting her into the cart while holding Leo on my front is no easy task. Then if she is not in the cart, I find it difficult to hold onto her and the grocery cart and keep my sanity. Once I was holding Leo and something else and she went into the parking lot all by herself and I could not catch her to grab her hand...I was both scared and mad. How do moms with MORE than 2 do it?
So..just as I was writing the last paragraph, Leo started crying upstairs. I went up there, got in bed with him and nursed him laying down. I love the mornings because of these sweet moments I get with my new baby just cuddling and nursing. Well, occasionally Isabella will get into something or I will just sense that the house is too quiet. The problem is that often I will just stay upstairs either in denial or imagining what will await me when I leave my haven of peace and go downstairs. Well today was no exception. As I was upstairs, I called down to her to ask what she was doing and I faintly heard something about the counter and powder. Well I did not actually go down then(denial) and when I finally did, I found her on the counter smearing baking soda all over it(at least it is a cleaner). I snapped a picture and this is where I will end my blogging for today and get back to motherhood.

Leo's Birth Story

2009-03-18T13:23:00.000-07:00
Leo Anthony was born Saturday March 7th at 1:13am. He weighed 8lbs 6oz and was 21 inches long. In a nutshell... I noticed around 3-4pm that I was getting pretty strong pressure waves every 15 minutes or so..strong enough that I did not want to talk during them. I decided to go to a church activity at 6pm to have something to do(I've been getting negative about not having him yet). I told Cathy(my midwife) before I left that it seemed like it was every 15 min. or so. I got to the church at 6pm and they were 9-11 min. apart. Then, by an hour later at 7, they were 4 min. apart. I guess this is when I realized that it probably was indeed my birthing time. I was worried I was going to be wrong if I said I was in labor but when I called Cathy and told her the timing of my pressure waves over the past hour, she told me to go home and that she would get her stuff together and head over. That was very surreal. After eating a bit at church and timing my contractions(I am sure people were wondering about me)a friend offered to drive me home(Gary and I had seperate cars) She offered to stick around if I needed any help and I was glad she did. She kept Isabella busy until our friend came to pick her up. She also helped Gary fill the tub. When Cathy got to our house, she checked me and I was 5cm and 80% effaced. That was at 9pm I think. I walked around the house for a few pressure waves(getting oh so strong) and then tried the shower. I just could not seem to find a "comfortable" position. I liked the warm water on my back but I got really frusterated with the steam in the shower..I felt like I couldn't breathe and threw the curtain open a few times. After a while in the shower, I knelt at the edge of my bed. I then got on the bed on my side for at least one contraction. After it was over, I felt like I was going to throw up and Gary got the trash can to me just in time. As soon as I was done, I told him(with all my doula knowledge..haha) that that meant I was probably in transition and getting very close to the end. I guess it was because it was getting more and more intense and I was getting more and more uncomfortable. We went downstairs and I got in the birth pool. It felt better to be in there. Once in the water, I became VERY vocal and tried to keep reminding myself to make low noises. Our living room eventually turned into a soundbooth for everything from a horror film to good birthing drones to sounds from an opera stage. My body kept getting so tense..especially in my legs. It was good that I had 5 people around me to talk me through things and massage my back and legs. At one point I remember some of my birth team joining me in my vocalization. I think I probably started pushing before I was completely dialated but it was what my body started to do so I went with it. I think I was pushing for over an hour - which was pretty dang long for an unmedicated birth(most of the stories I've heard were far less). I got into a variety of positions in the water...floating on my back, on my side and ended up on my knees laying over the edge of the pool. For pushing, I was on my knees and then in a kneeling squat. It seemed like it was eternal crowning! I started to panic a bit but I was determined to end that stage and get him out. I had heard it was a relief to push and I did notice that it felt better when pushing than between the pushes. Finally he came out at 1:13am and I pulled him through my legs and sat back holding him. The room was very peaceful right after his birth..soft voices and pretty music from my iTunes. He was pretty alert and the first nursing went very well. It took a little while for my placenta to come out but I was fine just looking over my new baby. I only had a 1st degree tear which is far better than my episiotomy from last time...that took FOREVER to heal. Eventually, after my midwives finished cleaning up(thank you, midwives!) we all went upstairs to our bedroom for the newborn exam. Cathy gave him a thorough exam and Gary weighed Leo. He was 8 lbs. 6 oz. His head was 14"....is that big? I don't know...it felt big! As tired as they were, my midwives did not leave until I was in bed with food, drink, and anything else I needed. It was a very exhausting experience but looking at my precious little boy and being in the comfort of my own home, I would do it again . Having a homebirth was very special to me; my home actually feels more sacred after bringing forth life within its walls.

Leo's Newborn photos

2009-03-18T13:13:00.000-07:00
These were taken by Tamara Sams

Leo's Newborn photo shoot

2009-03-18T13:09:00.001-07:00

Leo's arrival

2009-03-08T12:57:00.001-07:00

Leo Part 2

2009-03-08T12:51:00.000-07:00

He is Here!!!

2009-03-07T18:05:00.000-08:00
Leo Anthony Parente made his grand entrance into this world early this morning at 1:13am. He was born at home and weighs 8lbs 6oz and is 21 inches long. I will post a birth story and pictures soon!

Nothing Yet

2009-03-05T18:52:00.001-08:00
For all those wondering, "has she had her baby yet??" No I have not...I will post when I do. I am very thrown off because I just assumed since I had Isabella early that I would just be one of those moms who had all of their children early. Well, on Sunday I will be 40 weeks...at least according to the ultrasound. I know he will be a lucky boy and get to pick his own birthday and that will be when my body will be ready. However, even having this serene understanding, I am feeling antsy since my mom will be here a week from today. As fun as it would be to hang out with her, I know she really wanted to be able to be a help to me in my post-partum time. Remembering last time, I will need the help. So....I do hope he comes before then. So everybody out there...instead of asking me, "have you had him yet" or "when are you due again?" , what I really need are just good birthing vibes sent my way. Oh, and not talking about my still being pregnant also helps my morale. Thank you!

Knowledge is Power

2009-02-24T07:31:00.000-08:00
I hope every woman reading my blog will link to THIS blog post about C-Sections in our country and the typical scenario that happens in hospitals these days. I personally know multiple people who have had this same experience and have been told that their bodies just "couldn't" do it. I really do wish women would actually research facts about birth and their bodies. It seems like we are so careful during pregnancy..not even taking Ibuprofen or aspirin yet we put our bodies and the safety of our birth on the line when it comes to where we deliver and which care provider we choose. I know...I did it...I chose probably the worst OB practice with my first not knowing anything about them other than the office was really nice and they gave me chocolate every visit. I chose the hospital I did because it was the closest and had more bells and whistles. I had unknowingly set myself up for many interventions and possibly surgery. Luckily, I did not end up with a surgical birth but with the Dr. and hospital both having at least 30-40% C-section rates, it very well could have been. Why to we take more time picking out a salon and hair stylist to go to than we do a doctor or midwife? Come on ladies...

Does the experience matter?

2009-02-12T08:06:00.000-08:00
Okay, so I just linked to a friend's blog about nuchal cords but I came across this entry and just have to link to it as well. She talks about her feelings in regard to the statement, " Your baby is healthy and that is all that matters." I believe..especially after reading the comments that she was the voice of many women who didn't know how to express how they were feeling about this oh so common phrase. I hope you will all check it out.

Emily's Blog

35 week Maternity Photo Shoot

2009-01-31T18:54:00.000-08:00

New diaper

2009-01-21T11:54:00.000-08:00

Here is a picture of the new diaper I got for Leo. It is small, SOO soft, and has cute frogs dressed up like pirates on it. I am looking forward to being able to get more stuff for him in the next month or so. Since I already have all the big things, I feel like I can't "nest" as much. We are getting our house ready, however. We are planning on putting it up for sale next month so we have gotten our carpets cleaned, purged a car's worth of stuff we didn't need to D.I. and this Saturday, we are re-doing our bathroom floor(it will look SO good) I will put before and after pictures up if I can remember. Oh, and if anyone is in the market for a great townhome this April/May, just let us know ;-)

32 week appointment

2009-01-11T19:06:00.000-08:00

For those interested in seeing what my appointments are like, I took a few pictures. My midwife comes to my house for every visit which in the winter with a toddler is nice. Like you can see in the pictures, she takes my blood pressure, temperature, checks my urine, feels Leo's size and position, measures the growth of my uterus and checks the heart rate. Isabella always gets to hold the gel for the doppler and this time even got to help get the heartbeat on the doppler. Everything is looking good these days so I am happy. I only have about 6-7 more weeks till Leo could be in our home so it is getting very exciting! We had our first Hypnobabies class Friday night and that will continue for five more weeks. There is a lot to practice but I want to try my best to make it a priority because I know that the more you practice, the more success you can have with it. Tonight Gary and I are going to actually practice our first script together where he reads things to me and gives me cues to relax. I also have some cute pictures from Christmas to post but I will wait a few days to do a new post so my blog is not too overwhelming with new things.

Midwives can deliver better birth care, if we let them

2008-12-30T19:44:00.000-08:00
Service is cheapest, most health-promoting maternity care for healthy women
By JENNIFER BLOCK

Some health care trivia: In the United States, what is the No. 1 reason people are admitted to the hospital? Not diabetes, not heart attack, not stroke. The answer is something that isn't even a disease: childbirth.
Not only is childbirth the most common reason for a hospital stay — more than 4 million American women give birth each year — it costs the country far more than any other health condition. Six of the 15 most frequent hospital procedures billed to private insurers and Medicaid are maternity-related. The nation's maternity bill totaled $86 billion in 2006, nearly half of which was picked up by taxpayers.
But cost hasn't translated into quality. We spend more than double per capita on childbirth than other industrialized countries, yet our rates of pre-term birth, newborn death and maternal death rank us dismally in comparison. Last month, the March of Dimes gave the country a "D" on its prematurity report card; California got a "C," but 18 other states and the District of Columbia, where 15.9 percent of babies are born too early, failed entirely.
The U.S. ranks 41st among industrialized nations in maternal mortality. And there are unconscionable racial disparities: Black mothers are three times more likely to die in childbirth than white mothers.
In short, we are overspending and under-serving women and families. If the United States is serious about health reform, we need to begin, well, at the beginning.
The problem is not access to care; it is the care itself. As a new joint report by the Milbank Memorial Fund, the Reforming States Group and Childbirth Connection makes clear, American maternity wards are not following evidence-based best practices. They are inducing and speeding up far too many labors and reaching too quickly for the scalpel: Nearly one-third of births are now by Caesarean section, more than twice what the World Health Organization has documented is a safe rate. In fact, the report found that the most common billable maternity procedures — continuous electronic fetal monitoring, for instance — have no clear benefit when used routinely.
The most cost-effective, health-promoting maternity care for normal, healthy women is midwife led and out of hospital. Hospitals charge from $7,000 to $16,000, depending on the type and complexity of the birth. The average birth-center fee is only $1,600 because high-tech medical intervention is rarely applied and stays are shorter. This model of care is not just cheaper; decades of medical research show that it's better. Mother and baby are more likely to have a normal, vaginal birth; less likely to experience trauma, such as a bad vaginal tear or a surgical delivery; and more likely to breast feed. In other words, less is actually more.
The Obama administration could save the country billions by overhauling the American way of birth.
Consider Washington, where a state review of licensed midwives (just 100 in practice) found that they saved the state an estimated $2.7 million over two years. One reason for the savings is that midwives prevent costly Caesarean surgeries: 11.9 percent of midwifery patients in Washington ended up with C-sections, compared with 24 percent of low-risk women in traditional obstetric care.
Currently, just 1 percent of women nationwide get midwife-led care outside a hospital setting. Imagine the savings if that number jumped to 10 percent or even 30 percent. Imagine if hospitals started promoting best practices: giving women one-on-one, continuous support, promoting movement and water immersion for pain relief, and reducing the use of labor stimulants and labor induction. The C-section rate would plummet, as would related infections, hemorrhages, neonatal intensive care admissions and deaths. And the country could save some serious cash. The joint Milbank report conservatively estimates savings of $2.5 billion a year if the Caesarean rate were brought down to 15 percent.
To be frank, the U.S. maternity care system needs to be turned upside down. Midwives should be caring for the majority of pregnant women, and physicians should continue to handle high-risk cases, complications and emergencies. This is the division of labor, so to speak, that you find in the countries that spend less but get more.
In those countries, a persistent public health concern is a midwife shortage. In the U.S., we don't have similar regard for midwives or their model of care. Hospitals frequently shut down nurse-midwifery practices because they don't bring in enough revenue. And although certified nurse midwives are eligible providers under federal Medicaid law and mandated for reimbursement, certified professional midwives — who are trained in out-of-hospital birth care — are not. In several state legislatures, they are fighting simply to be licensed, legal health care providers. (Californians are lucky — certified professional midwives are licensed, and Medi-Cal covers out-of-hospital birth.)
Barack Obama could be, among so many other firsts, the first birth-friendly president. How about a Midwife Corps to recruit and train the thousands of new midwives we'll need? How about federal funding to create hundreds of new birth centers? How about an ad campaign to educate women about optimal birth?
America needs better birth care, and midwives can deliver it.

Block is the author of "Pushed: The Painful Truth About Childbirth and Modern Maternity Care." This article originally appeared in the Los Angeles Times.

Commentary on the pictures below..

2008-12-11T15:53:00.000-08:00
So since I do not know how to write comments about each picture as I post it, I will give you the run down. These go from most recent to the middle of October. The top is us at the Joseph Smith Memorial building in downtown SLC. Gary played his violin there last weekend and we took a family picture in front of the big tree. After that are pictures from Bella's friend, Ava's birthday party (can you tell there was a princess theme) Since I did not have any of the costumes, Ava let Bella borrow a Sleeping Beauty costume. Now I am normally not all into the Disney princess thing(it can go overboard) but I thought Isabella looked SO cute! After those pictures are the ones from Thanksgiving I think. We were at my family reunion in Austin, TX. There are also some of Bella with her cousin, Sasha. They are very cute together. We visited with them before we went to the reunion. Then I think there are some ultrasound pictures of Leo. One showing his "manhood" and the other of his little profile. The belly shot is when I was about 22 or 23 weeks I think. Then we have more from Austin when we visited Gary's sister during one of his interviews(the job he is actually taking!!) I think that is it..I know it is a lot of pictures but I have been behind on posting. I am now almost 28 weeks(yay 3rd trimester) and all is well with the pregnancy. I had an appointment to day at my house with my midwife and after the holidays she will come every 2 weeks..now's when I hope it will go fast. I start my hypnobabies class the 1st week of January and I am very excited to learn all I can. Well, enough from me..until next time...

Pictures from the last 2 months

2008-12-11T15:37:00.000-08:00

Halloween pictures

2008-11-05T19:17:00.000-08:00

Here we are on the night of Halloween. We took Bella trick-or-treating for the first time and LOVED it!! After a few doors, she started telling me she wanted to get more candy as we walked to the next door. We met up with Bella's good friend, Olivia and spent most of the night with them. It was a lot of fun. Bella was a cat and Olivia was a whimsical witch.

We're having a...

2008-10-22T15:12:00.000-07:00

Baby BOY!!!!! We just got back from our ultrasound and it was definitely a boy. We are so excited and not just happy that it is a boy but that everything looks healthy and fine. They adjusted my due date to the 8th but that comes as no surprise to me as I did have Bella 10 days early. I am still saying that my "due time" is the 1st half of march. Well, just thought I'd update everyone. If I had a scanner, I would post some of the cute pictures I have but oh well..

My 2nd birth

2008-10-19T09:30:00.000-07:00

SO finally I am going to write about my second birth as a doula. The last week of September, Holly had been laboring all week and I just kept in touch with her. Isabella's birthday was that monday the 22nd and my family was coming into town that Thursday to visit. Holly had and estimated due date of September 16th and even though she was over 41 weeks, she was SO positive and knew that her daughter would come when she was ready. I really admire her patience..many women unknowingly put themselves at risk by getting induced just because they are a little over their "due date." So she texted me throughout the week letting me know what her contractions were doing and other things she was feeling. Every night I went to bed thinking that at any moment I would get a call.. On Friday, we hung out with my parents during the day and that evening, we had a little party for Isabella. As we were going home that night, Holly called me saying that her contractions had continued all day and that they were getting a little closer...I knew she was in labor so I told her that I would just be prepared for her call later that night. I had just barely gotten into bed when at 10:30pm she called me. I was pretty excited to get the call so I gathered my stuff and headed over to her house. She had taken a Hypnobirthing class and when I got there she was leaning over her birthing ball and rocking through each contractions. It was so peaceful in the home..dark, quiet and her husband was so loving to her. We would talk about birth stuff between contractions and then get very quiet when she was having one. While I was at her house the contractions were 3-5 minutes apart. She said that they were much more tolerable rocking on her ball than standing but she figured being upright would get her progressing more. I suggested we go on a walk. We all then went outside and walked back and forth on their street for a while till she felt a little too cold to keep walking. Then we got inside and ended up talking about showers and I suggested it might refresh her. She took one and had a few contractions in there but said the shower felt great. Then she wanted to get in her own bed and rest a while with her husband. I just laid out on their couch for about 20-30 minutes. When they came out she said she wanted to go to the hospital - she felt they were getting really strong and did not want to be too uncomfortable on the ride the way there. I got all their stuff in the car and at about 1:30am, we headed to the hospital. When we got there,the nurse checked her and she was 1cm dilated which surprised us all since we had seen her working pretty hard though her contractions.
So she just got back on the floor and worked through some more contractions for a while and we just kept a peaceful environment for her. Occasionally I did some massage on her lower back as well. Around 3:30 am she was checked again and was now 3.5cm. The Nurse midwife told her that if she was more comfortable at home, she could go there and come back when she felt like it or she could just stay at the hospital. I think since it was the middle of the night, she had a good nurse, and there was no pressure on her, she decided the car ride was not worth it and stayed. Her CNM also told her that she was worried that if she didn't get any rest, come pushing time she would be too tired so she took an Ambien sleeping pill. At that time, it was 4:30am and I had been up for 22 hours which for a pregnant woman is not the best. Holly told me to go home as well and get a few hours of sleep. I went home and around 9am, the CNM called me and told me she was awake and 5cm and getting into the bath tub. I got back to the hospital around 9:30am and when I walked into her room, she was getting out of the tub and saying something about wanting to push. A few minutes later she was in the bed and they checked her stating that she was about 9 cm. Her water had broken in the tub and I guess that was all her body needed to finish dilating. She worked through a few more contractions with me and either the CNM or the nurse pressing on her knees(actually moves the pelvis a little and provides relief). When she said that she really needed to push, she was 9.5cm and the CNM told her to just try pushing through one contraction to see if that would push the rest of her cervix away. I don't think it did. They then told her to not push through contractions for a while until the cervix was more dilated- from her mouth, this was one of the only really hard parts of the labor( I can imagine having such and incredible urge and being told to hold back) When she was dilated, she was able to listen to her body and push her baby out. This went actually pretty fast compared to her early stages of labor. She decided to just push in the position she had been checked in since she was anxious to get the baby out. We held her legs in place and she did such a great job pushing. No shrill screaming or anything...not to say she wasn't vocal. I rubbed her neck a little between contractions since she would really tense up with each push. When the pain got stronger, she talked to her daughter by name and told her to "Come on..you can come out". I also remember blowing on her forehead and pushing her hair back when I could tell it was getting really intense for her. Her beautiful baby girl slipped right out at 10:40am on Saturday. Holly had a small tear(that healed very fast) and her daughter was a great nurser from the start. Once breastfeeding was established and I had taken lots of pictures of the new family, I packed up and headed home where my parents and family were waiting. We had a great rest of the weekend in Park City.
Holly was such an example to be with her patience and endurance and positive attitude. She was not afraid of birth..she knew her body could do it and allowed it to. Her husband was so loving, giving her comforting touches and words along the way. I felt honored to be apart of such an intimate experience of theirs.

18 weeks

2008-10-13T11:23:00.001-07:00

A Preggo Pic

2008-10-01T21:01:00.001-07:00

This is not a great picture..it's from my phone..but here is a picture of me now in my 16th week of pregnancy. I will eventually put nicer ones up.

Forget "Due Dates"

2008-09-30T07:49:00.000-07:00
Here is a link to a blog I read about due dates and the rise of un-necessary inductions. I will also post about my 2nd birth I attended as a doula this weekend when I have some time.

Isabella is 2!!!

2008-09-22T11:27:00.000-07:00

Today is Bella's 2nd birthday and already it started the way it has the last 2 years...with rain and a cool front. That is okay because the rain already stopped. So far today, we went to the mall to get these cute pictures taken and we had a Mommy & daughter bagel breakfast at Einsteins! Yum! My parents are coming in town later this week to celebrate her birthday so we are very excited to hang with "Mimi and Papi" I am also waiting for my 2nd client to go into labor any minute..we thought it might happen this weekend but it is monday so we will just keep waiting. I will write about how that goes after it happens. For now, just enjoy the cute pictures of my daughter.

My First Birth as a Doula

2008-09-11T07:42:00.000-07:00

So yesterday morning, I got a call at 4:15am... actually I didn't realize it had happened until Gary said to me, "Who would be calling this early?" I jumped up and said,"someone's in labor!" I called Meghan back and she told me she was in the car on the way to the hospital and when I asked her how far apart her contractions were, she said that they were right on top of eachother. Adrenaline kicked in and I was bumping around the bedroom in the dark trying to get clothes on. I ran to the bathroom to brush my teeth, grabbed my doula bag, threw some fruit in it and headed out the door. Gary was worried he wouldn't be able to get to class because for this week, we only have 1 car. I got to the hospital and did not know where to enter so I chose the main entrance. What was ridiculous was that when I walked into the ER entrance, there was not a person in sight! I kept saying,"what the heck!" I called out...."hello..."...nothing. I hopped on an elevator and chose the top floor...not a person in sight..again. Then I went down one floor...finally, a nurse! I asked her where labor and delivery was and she told me to go back to the 1st floor. I finally found the right place and I told the person at the desk who I was looking for. They pointed to the only room in use at the time(such a dead hospital..no pun intended)
I opened the door at about 4:42am and Meghan was screaming, there were 3 nurses helping her and the baby warmer was being set up. I knew this meant the baby was almost out. I told a nurse that I was her doula but since everything was so fast and intense at the moment, I just stood there. I could see the baby crowning and I could tell that I had walked in at the most difficult time for the mother...the head was descending. The doctor was not yet there and she was really feeling the urge to push and she was. A couple times, she didn't know if she was supposed to push and she asked, "can I push? I need to push.." I told her to push when she felt the urge. The doctor came, the nurses threw a gown on him and he started helping to ease the baby's head out. Then he grabbed the scissors and my heart skipped a beat...I thought, is it really necessary? Should I say something? The nurse told her that they were going to do an episiotomy and she just kept on pushing with each contraction. Shortly after the baby's head came out..what an amazing thing to see! Then with one more push, out came a beautiful baby boy. I was filled with maternal emotion and was in awe of what Meghan had accomplished. The baby was born at 4:50am...remember, I got there at 4:42am and she had gotten there at 4:30am. Can we say FAST! (Morgan, I have a better idea now of what your labors were like) I then watched and gave her ice chips as she delivered the placenta. She did not like being stitched back up..she was not medicated at all during the birth. They gave her 3-4 shots of local anesthesia to numb her perineum for the stitches. Her husband and I took turns holding her hand during the shots and stitches. They took her baby away for what I thought was too long for a healthy, pink baby. They said they wanted to "observe him for a while" but I don't know why that couldn't have been done on the mother or at least in the room. When she finally got her baby, we took some pictures and then I encouraged her to breastfeed her son since it had been almost an hour since he had been born and I didn't want him to get too tired before breastfeeding was initiated. She unswaddled him and he latched on like a champ. Both parents noticed how much more alert he was compared to their first two children who had a bit of pain medicine in their systems. She said she even noticed a difference in the ease of initiating breastfeeding. I left around 6:15am and got home before Gary had even gotten out of bed. Whew...is all I can say. What a rush. I wish I had been able to help her with the labor more but she only had a 3 hour labor and by the time it was regular, it was so far along that she traveled to the hospital in transition. Well I am glad I got to witness my first birth(aside from Bella) and I actually have another client due next week with her first. Since this is a first baby, I bet I will spend more time with this mother during her labor...but who knows?...

So...We're kinda famous

2008-09-01T08:30:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was reading the new issue of my favorite magazine, Mothering, and when I got to page 26, I noticed something familiar. I thought to myself as I was looking at a picture, "hmm, that looks like my mei tai(baby carrier)" Then I realized, IT WAS!!! There was a picture of Gary and bella..well the back of them..from when we were in Puerto Vallarta. The title said," Jungle Baby" and along with my picture, there is a caption that I sent via email. So, basically you should all go out this week to your local Borders or Barnes & Noble and pick up a copy. It is also a FABULOUS magazine and this month is the yearly "Pregnancy Edition" Also, if anyone wants a signed copy, I am sure I can make that happen.-haha.

Finally, an Update!

2008-08-11T17:40:00.000-07:00

Well, our computer was all messed up for the past month so I have not been able to write a new post. So..since I last posted we went to Houston to visit my family and had a great time. We also just finished re-doing our living room flooring...it is soooo much nicer now! A place I could really see myself having a baby in...oh yeah....I am pregnant! Yes, I am due mid-march and I am very happy about that. Just before we went to Houston, we found a midwife that I really like and I think it eased Gary's mind a little about planning a home birth by helping to pick the midwife. Well, that is all the big news so now I will stick on the pictures from our trip so everyone can see how cute Isabella is(sorry...shameful mommy plug)