Sunday, November 18, 2007

just stuff

Well Last week was Gary's birthday and we didn't do anything huge but I was pretty proud of the cake I made(complete with decorations). We also had sparkling cider and Isabella made him a painting with her hand print and finger designs...with my help of course. We just went out to dinner but it was a nice night. Other than that, I had a tooth pulled about 10 days ago and as dramatic as it was at the time...I have gotten over it and the hole in my mouth doesn't bother me as much as I thought it would. It will be about 6 months or so till I get my new implant.

I am grateful for the instinct we have to love and to protect...this week has been full of small trials for our family and I am so grateful for our family...especially my husband's siblings. They are sensitive to their instincts to protect their younger brother from an unhealthy home and today I was able to have a sigh of relief that actions are being taken.

On the topic of instincts, I will share a bit about mothering instincts since I am by trade...a mother. It is such a perfect plan that mothers are wired to love and to protect their young. Think about animals... Our uncle got semi-attacked by a mother whale when an ocean current brushed him against her calf. Mothers in the wild keep their young close and will sacrifice all they can to protect them. As human parents...when the sound of our baby crying occurs, our heart rates actually go up, our palms may become sweaty, we feel uncomfortable, and 5 minutes of crying can feel like an eternity. This is nature's way of making sure we respond to our children's needs. It is also interesting to note that the composition of human breastmilk is such that it is very quickly digested(as opposed to milks of other mammals) and thus, babies need to nurse more frequently. These facts make it hard for me to see our culture attempt to make our children independent so soon...almost as soon as a mother brings her baby home, she, along with outside pressures seek to get the baby to sleep in their own room, for as many hours as possible. Just visit your local mothers group and you will quickly hear mothers asking each other how long their babies sleep and if they are "good" sleepers. If a mother feels the instinct to keep her baby with her through the night, people may label her baby as being needy or even manipulative. In fact, this desire to get the baby to self sooth, self sleep, self feed, and many other like things can be consuming to today's mothers. They force themselves to ignore their instincts and follow the latest parenting book's plan to get their baby to not need them. It saddens me to hear of parents resorting to the old "cry it out" method. It goes against our instinct and parents have to actually become numb to the sound of their baby's cry. Their baby, in turn, gives up on them and does eventually fall asleep but with a loss of trust in their primary provider. I wish more mothers would ignore all of the dumb advice from doctors, friends, and even their own mothers. Things were done very differently in previous generations and our mothers may think that since we turned out alright that it is okay to detach ourselves from our childrens' needs. It would be so great if mothers would realize that if they just follow what comes naturally to them, their children will be more than just fine, they will have their needs met and they will feel a closer bond to us.


MASTER said...

This is my wife and I LOVE HER! Isn't she great? She is the best mother ever. Go on...say nice things about her~

Lei said...

I couldn't agree more Sarah! I used to visit teach with a woman who let her babies cry it out once they reached 10 lbs. because "by that weight they should be able to make it 8 hrs without eating". It made me cringe to hear that, especially since my last 2 were 10 lbs. by 3-4 weeks old! COuld you imagine?

Sweetpea said...

I'm so with you. In other cultures, they think it's insane that we would put our babies to sleep away from their mothers. I think it's pretty crazy myself! I was just on the news about co-sleeping! Yay! Here's the link: