Thursday, December 30, 2010

Ouch :-(

So, I now know why I don't want to allow anonymous comments. I just got an awful one. Here it is...I will edit the cuss word.

"You are a crazy b****. You've been around just a few births and read some books and you act like you know more than the professionals who have had years of schooling and experience. Just because a woman doesn't give birth your way doesn't mean she's doing it wrong. Get off your damn soap box! "

My feelings are pretty hurt but I will try to tell myself that that is the comment of some angry blog troll just looking to say something mean to a doula. I find it funny that the criticism does not match my last post to which they were referring. I wrote about birth #2 and was talking about how it was a wonderful experience and how I loved being there. I did not mention anyone birthing in any kind of "wrong" way.
I talked about my worry about cord traction which any medical professional should know is not safe when the placenta is still attached..it can cause hemorrhage or even uterine prolapse.

Deep breath in...deep breath out....so much hate out there. Man, I don't go on people's blogs, call them out, cuss at them and hide behind the name "anonymous".

Can I get some love from all of you who don't think I am a "crazy B****" ? Thanks to all the people who love me.

17 comments:

A & S said...

Hi, this is Saralyn, Adam's wife, who is Gary's cousin. I'm sorry someone left you that nasty comment, they are obviously jealous, since they like to read your blog. I heard somewhere that if you have haters, then you are obviously doing something right :) By-the-way, I love your blog background!

Joy said...

Seriously! I think circumcision is horrific, but I don't troll for pro circ blogs to rant on!

Amy North said...

I think anyone who is such a gutless wench as to leave an anonymous comment on someone's personal blog is just an idiot, and they aren't worth any concern you might have for them. Your blog is YOUR opinion, and you can say whatever the heck you like. If someone doesn't like it, they don't have to read it. Or they can go write their OWN blog with THEIR opinion. They certainly don't need to be spineless buttheads. I still love ya, Sarah. Keep rockin' the world with your love and passion, and don't let idiot haters bring you down. They're dorks, and I don't need to be 'anonymous' to say that. :)

The 21st Century Hippy said...

There is nowhere in life aside from birth and parenting where people feel such a strong need to have their actions and opinions validated. Seeing someone else make different decisions, or question the actions of an "expert" seems to set people off!

On the subject of cord traction - when my first was born, a medical student (I think? He wasn't ever actually introduced to me, and don't get me started on that...) delivered the placenta. The resident who had delivered my baby said something to the effect of "you don't want to pull on that..." about the cord. So, yeah...don't pull on the cord. :)

I had a highly medicalized first birth - *mostly* necessarily so. I have to admit I still get a little bent out of shape when people are talking about interventions that shouldn't happen and especially when people are discussing how we should talk to children and other women about childbirth. It makes me feel like, within that rhetoric, I'm not allowed to talk honestly to my eldest about his birth - which was, frankly, terrifying.

I get a little defensive when people talk to me like I had unnecessary interventions and I was a victim. Neither was really the case in full, and it insults my intelligence to assume that the interventions I had were uninformed.

I'm not saying you are doing that or have ever done that - only that it is something my personal filters pick up on.

All this is to say - shake it off. Someone is probably questioning their choices, or reading something in your blog that isn't actually there.

Lei said...

Hi Sarah... you know I love you! Turn the other cheek. :)

One Fish said...

Don't worry about it. I had some freak leaving me all kinds of weird comments when I was pregnant saying that it meant I didn't believe in adoption and all sorts of crap. If people don't want to read what you write then they don't have to be on your blog.

Jenni and Josh said...

LOVE LOVE LOVE.....sending your way. Sorry if it takes a few hours. It has to travel from the East Coast to you and if it's coming by plane then it will be about 4 hours, so I'll send it via internet so it goes a little faster. Like I said on facebook though, you are a strong woman, with only the best intentions. We (meaning the whole world) doesn't have to agree on everything, however we should still respect one another regardless of how we all differ from one another. Love you lots Sarah!

TopHat said...

Sarah! I think you do a great job. I've had my share of trolls, too. I don't know why people like to put other people down. Just remember that their trolling comments say more about them than it says about you. :)

Sweetpea said...

You aren't crazy. There will always be those who make themselves feel good by making others feel bad. You know a lot,a nd are doing a service to those who do want some education about birth options. Good for you, stand your ground.

Kristi said...

Man, I'm jealous! I wish people cared enough about what I say to hate it! ;o)

If ever in doubt, YOUR blog inspired me to become as educated as possible about my birth and helped me have the best experience of my life! I did NOT go into my birth thinking, "Hey I want to be a doula after this." Nope. Didn't consider it. Then I gave birth. Amazing! Powerful! Wonderful! And now? I wish I had decided to be a doula instead of a flutist! I never felt about flute like I do about birth, and I only THOUGHT I was passionate about flute. Keep up the good work. Keep sharing. It's helped me more than you know.

I also recall you saying, "I know my place as a doula." That doesn't sound to me like you think you know than medical personnel.

Cheers!

Kristi

Laura said...

I've never commented before, but I will now. And you don't really know me, but I know your husband because my mom was his accompanist on occasion.

I agree with just about everything you have posted here. Partly because of you, I have decided that none of our sons will be circumcised. I also want to have a natural childbirth when the time is right.

And you are not forcing your opinion on everyone. You acknowledge that there is a time and place for interventions.

Keep blogging!

Joanna said...

I know you've talked about this before, but it's sad that there even has to be such a big divide and debate about birthing. All women should be educated about the topic, know their options, and make informed decisions. I have always seen you (and your blog) as an educator.

brooke and tyler said...

oh sarah,
don't let that anonymous person affect you in any way. who knows why people feel that they can type whatever they want on the internet when they would never actually say something like that to a persons face. you are entitled to your own opinions (especially on your own blog). like another said before, turn the other cheek and move on and hopefully anonymous will too! we love you.

mrskaseymay said...

Hi Sarah! It's Kasey (Adams) from PVA! :)

I've been secretly reading your blog for a while. I was so pleased to see how you've grown into such a purposed and passionate mommy! Your knowledge and honesty have been inspiring to me! Keep it up!

It's unfortunate, but... sometimes, people just SUCK.

Mrs.Field's Cookies said...

Sorry Sarah that stinks! I have gotten a mean comment before too. That is why I am thankful for the delete comment button.

cathmom said...

I LOVE you Sarah.

Suzanne said...

I love you too. I even had to take a deep breath after reading that one! There are always going to be people out there like that, Unfortunately!!! Do NOT take that personally! I know easier said then done. Clearly, she is coming from some past hurts, guilts, family trauma, etc.... She got triggered reading your blog and it's very easy to lash out like that on the web and yes, hide behind an anonymous title.
Sarah, if your work is a passion and you love what you do and help other women (which I KNOW you do) then you are doing God's work and you are doing what you are meant to be doing!!! Don't let ONE women steal your power and who you truly are!!
I love you too! Suzanne