So I just nursed my little baby to sleep and as I was looking at her sweet face, I was reminded how fast it will go. Earlier tonight, Bella asked me to rock her a bit on the rocking chair before she went to bed. As I rocked her and rubbed her almost 5 year-old back, I was sad that she had gotten so big. I thought how soon it will be that I will no longer be able to see her as my baby. Same thing with Leo tonight. I rocked him in his room and he held me and told me that he loved me. Aren't those the moments motherhood is all about?
When Bella was a baby, I remember co-sleeping with her and nursing her and thinking that it felt like I had been doing it forever. I am sure people pitied me when I said that my 15 month still nursed frequently throughout the night and that I did not get 8 hours of sleep till she was 19 months old. Guess what? Now it is gone. I knew this with Leo and just strictly co-slept with him from day 1. I did not need to feel guilty or that I needed to make excuses for sleeping with him or nursing him into toddler hood. I knew that there would be a day that it would end and that I would wish for the days of my little baby cuddled up with me sleeping or nursing.
With Sophia, I have thought of everything from pregnancy until now as a "This will probably be our last child so remember and savor this" kind of thing. I enjoyed my round, pregnant body. I was okay letting labor start when she was ready and even found a way to savor a long labor. I remember feeling her twist out of me and tried as hard as I could to remember that feeling. I am not in a hurry for her to sleep all night without me(even though she has already come close). I am not in a hurry for nursing to end.
As crazy as 3 kids is to me, I am trying to remind myself to drink my little ones in; to smell them and rub their baby soft skin. Life will get busy with school, lessons, meetings, etc. For now, I will take as much cuddling on the couch or rocking to sleep as I can get.