Friday, January 11, 2008

A Long Holiday

We are now back from our long holiday in the South. We had a great time but we were so so so busy. We flew to Houston the 23rd of December and in the blink of an eye, it was Christmas Eve. We had a lot of fun with typical family traditions of family friends coming over for dinner, exchanging gifts, and getting new pajamas... yes I am 25 and I still get new pj's every Christmas. Then it was Christmas with the opening of presents, eating our stocking candy, and going over to my aunt's house. The following day was the day we spent with Gary's family. We had a lot of fun with all of his siblings. My brother got married that Friday and so the next few days were full of dinners, dancing, and a beautiful marriage ceremony. I got to be a bridesmaid which was fun. Even more interesting was that I got to wear my grandmother's black satin dress from 1947...she wore it on her wedding day as her "going away" dress. After New Year's, we drove to Pensacola, FL to visit Gary's great uncle and then to Georgia to stay with his grandparents for a few days. We enjoyed our time there a lot. They are fun grandparents.
Whew...that was a LONG 2 weeks! I think that we will only be gone for a week next year..it is really hard to be gone from home that long when you have a child. Isabella's schedule was all thrown off and as I said, we had many family functions with lots of stimulation. She was a lot more needy than usual and had a harder time going to bed at night.
Here's my "momentary"(mom-commentary):
What I found frustrating...more than having to be more attentive to Bella, was unsolicited advice from people around me. It was hard for me to feel like people thought I was being taken advantage of by my own child. Like they pitied me and in their own minds maybe thought I was not making the right parenting decisions. " How much longer are you going to nurse her?" was asked a few times and my response was the usual, "until she's finished". "Well, she'll be finished when you say she is finished" Hmmmm...yeaaaahh...thanks.
I love my style of parenting and it works great for our family. I do not let Isabella cry it out or feel it is important for her to learn to self soothe...that is something Dr.'s from our childhood told our parents and thus the ideas that babies just cry and it doesn't really mean anything so you should just let them do it is still cycling around. Babies and children cry for a reason...to communicate with the people they trust with their life. Isabella does not sleep for more than 4 hours straight at night. This is why I get comments from people who are well intentioned but at this point, she knows what she wants when she wakes up..to be near me. So I go into her room, pick her up, bring her into bed with me and we cuddle close together as we both fall peacefully back to sleep. I am reading a book now called "Sweet Dreams"- a book about sleep in infants and children. I will share a quote that I really liked reading last night.
"It is a beautiful feeling knowing that you alone have the power to brighten your child's life and banish fear and sorrow. In your child's eyes, you are a miraculous, godlike being. Show your child that you are worthy of the high esteem in which he holds you."

Well anyway, that is my semi-rant. I love my little girl and my goal as a parent is to make sure her needs are met and that she trusts me and feels loved. This is still a learn as I go thing but I will continue to just follow my instincts.

3 comments:

mary said...

I would love to see pictures of Evan and Audrey's wedding sometime. I bet it was beautiful. That's so awesome that you were able to wear your grandmother's dress! I'd never fit into my grandmother's clothes.

Shawna Ostler said...

Sarah,
I loved this. You know how people have signs on their doors that say stuff like "No soliciting" and "If I want to buy it, I'll call you". I think every mom should wear a sign that says, "If I want advice, I'll ask." It's amazing how many old, single, never had a child in their life "baby experts" there are out there. :) And even more who write books about it. I think mother instincts hold a lot of weight when it comes to raising your own child.

Sweetpea said...

Amen, sister! I get so tired of having to defend my parenting choices. I've done a lot of research and this is what works for our family. We co-sleep with our baby, and people always go nuts over that. And when our son was still nursing and almost 2, people went nuts over that! Oh well, I know what is best for my kids.